Amy Tan

One good thing about moving to Greensboro has been the high quality speakers who come through this town for various lecture series. I was very fortunate last night to drive 10 minutes to Guilford College. They are completing a 3 year focus on Asian Studies, as well as the current 1 year focus on Spirituality. (Guilford is a Quaker school - and a very good one at that.)

The Opposite of Fate: An Evening with Amy Tan was the billing. I have been a big Amy Tan fan since The Joy Luck Club first came out. I have become even more enamored with her after Hubby and I decided to adopt a baby from China. I enjoy her writing immensely, and especially appreciate the understanding she provides as a Chinese American.

Ms. Tan was far better than I imagined. She was quite entertaining, engaging, personable, funny, and poignant. (And I must say she was wearing an incredibly beautiful asymetrical purple wrap skirt with a rich purple sweater and throw - I spent too much time wondering where she bought such an incredible outfit.) The Opposite of Fate is essentially the story of her life and how it influenced her writing. Her father was a Baptist minister who earned his living as an electrical engineer. He died while she was a young teen, in the same year her older brother also died (both of brain tumors). Her mother, quite an interesting character, continued to be a major influence in her life, as witnessed in her writing. In both her own life and in her writing, she has mixed the realities of life (and sometimes the very difficult ones) with humor and compassion.

One of my favorite stories came from an explanation she offered about the line "strength of the wind" in The Joy Luck Club. She ran across Cliff Notes of her book (much to her surprise) and was interested how much symbolism they placed into this phrase. She explained that it came from a Chinese phrase which literally means, "Loud farts don't smell, but the silent ones are deadly." It certainly provides some insight into the term, "breaking wind." (Sure hope my family of origin appreciates this story.)

I was also interested in the writers' band with which she has been involved for a number of years. They perform only for charity - literacy programs to be exact. Fellow band members include Stephen King (are you reading, Edgy Mama?), Dave Barry, Barbara Kingsolver and others.

The evening ended by a question about her "muse." I had noticed when she first came to the podium that she had a large purse with her. I thought - "Couldn't someone have taken that for her?" She placed the purse behind the podium. Upon being questioned about her "muse," Ms. Tan said she brought her muse in case she needed inspiration. She then opened the large purse, and a tiny and very cute little terrier trotted around the stage, to applause from the full theater. She sure seems like a fun person.

Inspired by Edgy Mama

I was just catching up on Edgy Mama's blog - and how she has a 4 year old son correcting her - and it reminded me of Sunday. The pastor at the church we attend is doing a Lenten series on the Seven Deadly Sins. MB has been doing a really good job with it - not an easy task. I can't really relate the events following the sermon on lust - it just shouldn't be out there for the world to see - but it was quite entertaining.

This past Sunday was gluttony - a really good one for our society. I was trying to prep 12 year old Sonny Boy for the sermon - explaining gluttony was just really overusing and abusing food and drink. I related it to when he was on the Youth Ski Trip a few weeks ago and reportedly gorged on cookies, rice crispy treats, Mountain Dew, Dr. Pepper, etc - items he either never or rarely finds in our kitchen. He overindulged so much that he became sick and missed school on Monday. I thought that was a wonderful example for him on the effects of gluttony.

I then went on to say that people good be gluttons for other things - like watching way too much tv (we have always limited the kids' tv) or playing video or computer games way too much. Sonny Boy looked at me with those sparking blue eyes and said, "Like how you watch tennis on tv ALL THE TIME and won't ever let me watch anything when it's on."

I attempted to defend myself - we don't even have the Tennis Channel - and said that the previous day's match was the first time instant replay was ever used in a televised match, and that Roger Federer (probably the best male tennis player ever) was playing, and that he had spoken out against instant replay, and that it was a Master's Series event (worth half the points of a Grand Slam title), and that it wasn't like tennis was on that much...

But Sonny Boy had tuned out by then.

See, Edgy Mama - you are not alone, and the fun is really just beginning.

root canal - what better way to spend an afternoon?

This picture is not of me (just something I found on the web), but this is how I spent my Monday afternoon. I spent so much time in the dental chair - and trying to relax and not have a tense body - that my abs got a pretty good workout. (To be Pollyannish - that's one good thing about getting a root canal).

This was a new experience for me. Apart from braces as a teen, and having my wisdom teeth cut out over my most memorable Spring Break in college - my dental health has been pretty normal. I have taken good care of my teeth and seen a dentist every six months. I brush, I floss - and I try to keep the Jelly Bellies to a minimum. But the move to Gboro seemed to mess up my dental plan. I had my routine visit set up last May - but three different times the dentist had to cancel on me (not a common occurence over my years there). And then I had to move without my cleaning. And then my plantar fasciattis was extreme - so I started wearing "the boot" and ended up having surgery. And I was starting a new job, trying to unpack a household, and help my kids get adjusted to a new school and new town.

All that to say - it was January before I found a new dentist. I had three very tiny cavities - something I had not had in years. We fixed them, but some ongoing pain has ebbed and flowed since then. It's amazing how a very tiny cavity nowhere near the nerve can end up having to have a root canal.

Well - gotta run. I've gone through all the Advil and need to go buy some more. Wonder if that will help with the soreness in my abs?

Stylin'

Back in Asheville for a couple days to visit. It's good to be back in a town where my average, everyday wear looks downright sophisticated and stylish compared to much of the hippie population. Haven't felt so good about my appearance in months!

Pathetic

I was a student at Duke when they won their first two championships, back to back ('91 and '92). I had always liked college hoops quite a lot before then - but that solidified it. Hubby and I had initially bonded over our love for basketball, but at that point it became a major glue for our marriage (and thus we have to keep cable tv for the college hoops - our marriage would fall apart otherwise). Since that time I have also done a yearly bracket, usually with some others. Some years have been better than others - my last great year was 2001, when I only missed three games the entire tourney! (and of course my boys from Duke won the whole thing)

This year I entered a pick 'em group (online as always) with my friend KK and about 30 others. At the end of Thursday, I was 30 out of 31, but it looked like 31 had not made any selections at all. Dazed, confused, ashamed. I did improve over the weekend - I am now 25 out of 31 (but to be honest, it really is 30). Even Carolina has let me down!

So here I am - now living in the heart of Tobacco Road. Only living a mile and a half from the Gboro Coliseum (site of both the women and men's ACC tourney and perennial site of the 1st and 2nd rounds of the NCAA tourney). And I have watched less bball this year than any year in a long time. Now it could be due to the fact that I am actually employeed fulltime outside the home. Or could it be that my marriage is not as strong as it once was? Does bball or the marriage come first, and which actually strengthens which? I thought my picks would be BAD this year, and that has come to fruition.

I still have my tennis, and was able to get Hubby to watch the men's Pilot Pen final yesterday instead of the Carolina game (he did get to see the last 10 mins of UNC submitting to kryptonite). Roger Federer once again showed he was the man, handling a wonderful James Blake who is playing the best tennis of his life - even to make it to the final of a Master's Cup is the best achievement so far for him.

Maybe if Hubby and I can focus on tennis for a little while, the marriage will strengthen once more and bball will be more clear next season. (or we could go with a traditional approach of just trying to have "dates" and spend more quality time together - do you think that would help my bball picks?)

Being a Bear is Better

(thanks to Marj for sending this via email)

GONNA BE A BEAR

In this life I'm a woman. In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear. When you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.

When you'r a girl bear, you birth children (who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body far.

Yep, gonna be a bear!

Where in the World is Caramel Frosting?!?

Sonny Boy's 12th birthday is Monday. Since we just moved to Gboro a few months ago, I promised he could have a sleepover party for his bday. Last night was the night. Four other little 11/12 year olds came to our home, and slept out in a tent in the backyard. They were actually all well-behaved, and their conversation consisted of "fart" sounds and jokes, discussions of the best video games, and the awful teachers they had.

But the saga of the bday party started for me several days before. For some time now, Sonny Boy's favorite cake has been a plain yellow one with caramel icing. (thank heavens - one that I can resist) This has been fairly easy to make. One can find a yellow cake mix box anywhere, and the Ingles in Asheville carried a wide variety of tubs of icing, including caramel.

So I go to the local Harris Teeter a few days ago. It's an older one, without the selection of a larger, newer store - but it's good enough. I was surprised at the small selection of icings - chocolate, vanilla, cream cheese, sprinkles, and coconut pecan. When the cashier asked the usual, "Did you find everything okay today?", I told her about the lack of frosting selection. She suggested the TajMateeter. I tried some other various stores before heading to the ultradelux store of them all - with no luck. The selections were all about the same. So on Thursday night (the night before making the cake), I head to the TajMateeter - and only find chocolate, vanilla, cream cheese, sprinkles, and coconut pecan. (What on earth is it with coconut pecan?!) I find a clerk, and am told this is the selection. I start to point out all the varieties missing - caramel, lemon, strawberry, orange burst. The list could go on and on! What does Bob Ingle know that HT doesn't? Do little old church ladies in the mountains make a wider variety of cakes than the average soccer mom? Are people so obsessed in this town with college hoops that cakes are only chocolate or vanilla? And even if that's the case, don't you need orange burst icing to make a basketball cake for when Duke wins the tourney? (I know, I know - you can put food coloring in vanilla frosting.)

So - I had to make caramel frosting from scratch. Hours and hours of my day Friday slaving over the stove and trying various recipes. It was an ugly, ugly cake. I was back at HT yesterday (the average one) looking for something to help. I felt Mommy guilt and thought about buying a whole new cake. And then I thought about lessons of trying to buy someone's love, about how something homemade is more meaningful than something store-bought, about how it's the thought that counts, etc. (And it's not like my mom never made an ugly cake or tried to pass off liver as beef tips - seriously.) So I just got some vanilla ice cream, some caramel syrup and some chocolate syrup to add to Ugly Cake. Sonny Boy knew it was an ugly cake - but they all seemed to like it.

Next year - I'll remember to make a stop at Ingles when I'm in Asheville over Christmas.

what should women read?

I ran across an interesting excerpt recently about women reading novels. It is from James' Fordyce's Sermons to Young Women, first published in England in 1766. It reads,

"...there seem to be very few, in the style of Novel, that you can read with safety, and yet fewer that you can read with advantage. - What shall we say of certain books, which we are assured (for we have not read them) are in their nature so shameful, in their tendency so pestiferous, and contain such rank treason against the royalty of Virtue, such horrible violation of all decorum, that she who can bear to peruse them must in her soul be a prostitute, let her reputation in life be what it will. But can it be true - say, ye chaste stars, that with innumerable eyes inspect the midnight behaviour of mortals - can it be true, that any young woman, pretending to decency, should endure for a moment to look on this infernal brood of futility and lewdness?"

A little different from any sermon I've ever given. I'd probably only put Ann Coulter books in this category - can you, dear readers, think of any others?

Nanny McPhee - the movie

Since my children saw the previews during the Holidays, I have promised that I would take them to see Nanny McPhee. I have gotten to the point I really hate most kid or family movies, but this one was starring Colin Firth and Emma Thompson - so of course I told them I would take them. (And I was quite suprised to see Sir Derek Jacoby in a small and silly role.) It's been out for a month, but we finally made it yesterday. And I must say that Colin still looks absolutely dishy, even wearing a velvet kelly green jacket with a red velvet vest. (Yes, this is a fairy tale story.)

The premise - Mr. Brown (Colin) is a widower with seven of the wildest children one has ever seen. They pride themselves in getting rid of nannies, and especially in record setting time. The agency refuses to send any more, but thankfully a new nanny magically appears (Emma Thompson - and barely recognizable - if you get an Oscar for making yourself ugly, she would easily score in this get-up). Kelly McDonald plays the scullery maid, Evangeline, and is her always luminescent self (I would LOVE to see her in more, and bigger, roles - far too talented for those of us in the States to be missing out on her.) Another issue in the Brown household is that a wealthy, opinionated, and self-important aunt (Angela Lansbury) financially supports the house. She has insisted that Mr. Brown marry within the month (because those wild kids need a new mom) or he loses the money - thus breaking up the family.

It's a fairy tale, so the story is predictable. I anticipated the ending, but it was done far more beautifully than I could have imagined. It's sweet, hopeful, and has a good message for children. (unlike Chronicles of Narnia, where I felt like the message was go and kill anyone you think is evil) At the end of the credits, a line simply said "This film is dedicated to all who are truly naughty. And to their children."

BINGO. Perfect movie for my family...

My grade - B-

time for another colin moment

Time for another Colin Firth moment (the thinking woman's sex symbol). I ran across an interview with him. It was an interview where they were asking for random answers to random questions (like a psychiatrist's test). In the answer to "women in your life," he responded, "my wife, my mother, and Jane Austen."

Truly every woman's dream...

why middle aged women shouldn't go to mardi gras

(thanks to Marj for sending this my way...)