The New Pele

In the next few weeks, if you head into your favorite Mexican restaurant, the service may not be as good as usual. The Men's World Cup will be in full force, and the world (apart from pockets of the USA) will be watching. The SuperBowl is nothing compared to this event. The Christian Science Monitor ran an article about this dynamic recently.

The Monitor talks about this great national divide - how our country alone does not have the love of soccer (football, for the rest of the world). It asks where the next Pele is - and then recounts the history of male soccer players and teams.

Where has that reporter been? It was years ago the US Women's team played (for the second time) in the World Cup Final against China and won an exciting match. Mia Hamm was proclaimed the new Pele (by no one other than Pele himself). If you see a soccer player on tv in ads (and you do), it's Mia. All of our kids are playing soccer, and can name various US female players. Ask for a man - and Brit David Beckham is the only one they can remember.

The revolution has come. The new Pele is here. But she's a woman. Too bad too many men can't see past Title IX.

Dame Margaret Kerr Series

The woman to the right is good - I mean really, really good. Candace Robb

A number of years ago I fell in love with Ellis Peter's Brother Cadfael series. I had never been a big mystery reader, but she combined mystery with medieval history and interesting characters - and I was hooked. With her passing, the series of course is complete. I kept spending time in the small North Asheville library, looking for something else in that genre. I unfortunately tried a few very poor imitators (please, please - ignore the Dame Fresise series for your own health).

Then I stumbled across The Apothecary Rose - the first in the Owen Archer series. I still think that initial book is the best in the series. It follows a 14th century Welsh archer who becomes a spy. I felt like I lived during those times, and wished I knew Owen and Lucie and Magda. Old cities came alive from the page. The mysteries were intriguing. I ached with the characters, and felt their joy and pain.

Robb then started a new series (and she is supposedly not done with Owen, thank goodness). I found the first book in the Dame Margaret Kerr series a few years ago on a close-out table at Barnes and Noble - A Trust Betrayed. A 19 year old woman from Perth, Scotland in the 13th century - seemingly abandanoned by her husband during the time of war with England - goes to Edinburgh in hopes of finding him and discovering who has murdered his cousin. I finished the book and was hooked. I kept checking the website and bookstores, waiting for the next in the series. I finally clued in recently - even though the next two are not published in the States (yet) - Amazon can get anything. I had them airmailed from England.

The Fire in the Flint and A Cruel Courtship are great. Robb is doing her best writing ever. I can barely take in the details of the page because I am dying to find out what will happen next. Scotland of yesteryear comes alive so incredibly. The characters are so real. The history of that time finally makes some sense. I have no idea when the next book in the series will come out. In this series Robb is dealing with some new issues - the ancient Scottish belief in the Sight - women who have vision or foretelling. She presents the spiritual dimension with the practical quite well. The stories are compelling and rich.

Candace Robb is good - really, really good. Take your mouse and head straight to her website (link in first line of this entry) and then head straight to Amazon. Then let me know what you think!

inspirations

I borrowed this idea from Edgy Mama - a list of inspirations (in no particular order)

Mom, Papa, my kids, tennis, Jane Austen, most anything British or Australian, Shania Twain, reggae music, Candace Robb, Lorelai Gilmore, Jesus, dark chocolate covered almonds, Jelly Bellies, meditteranean blue, forest green, Carolina Blue sky, Appalachian mountains, Green Day, Brother Cadfael, Ashley, Sydney Bristow, stars-sun-moon, Mexican food, Sangria, friends, Dixie Chicks, the ocean, adoption stories, having a clean house, sporty 5 speeds, impressionism, pretty little bound journals, bath salts, sunflowers, tulips, and travel

taking the bad with the good

Things that have gone wrong in recent days -
*shuttles to and from airport to remote midwestern campus being delayed and broken down
*being stuck first evening in hallway basement for 1 1/2 hours due to tornado warning with smelly, travel worn people, some of whom wanted to start having a big praise God worship service
*starting the trip with a hurt back
*making it worse with bad fall, which also sprained left ankle and really bruised and scraped right knee
*supposed to have private room, and when mix up ensues - being verbally assaulted by stranger who was my roommate for 20 minutes
*staying in the worst dorm rooms ever
*having one large shower room with four shower heads and divided by moldy shower curtains
*not having flip flops to prevent athlete's foot
*wearing my contacts in the shower and seeing the overhead vent which has not been cleaned since 1954
*only having the very short hours of the dining hall for food sustenance - coffee shop on campus is closed for the summer (even with over 250 guests at a conference - most of whom are addicted-to-caffeine college students)
*having tiny frozen mixed vegetables (you know - the peas, square carrots, corn and an occasional lima bean) at every single meal but breakfast
*having "scalloped" potatoes - sliced and cooked potatoes with cheez whiz over them
*having the meat selection of a corn dog or chicken nuggets (none of us are 8 years old)
*not having any store of any kind whatsoever within walking distance
*the complete unavailabity of Diet Coke - Pepsi must own the whole area

But alas, I did find some people with transportation, and yesterday afternoon was able to get to the theater (the one in town) to see Hugh Jackman in X3. Makes up for all the bad...

who's your daddy?

I'm heading to a national college student conference this weekend. I'll be teaching a workshop on "Finding God in Pop Culture." It is my belief that God is everywhere, and we can especially find God in the pervasive culture which surrounds us.

So yesterday I was finding out more about movies (and I love movies anyway). The Cannes film festival has been in the news, and I was pleased to hear that Brad Pitt (starring in one of the movie premieres there) sent a letter stating that he would not be there, because he and Angelina were expecting the new addition to their family any day now. Now, the circumstances of those two getting together were terribly fishy (and I really don't want to know the details) and I don't condone starting a relationship with another person when you are still married. Yet, I find it commendable that Brad is putting his family first. Quite a change from another A-list movie star who has obnoxiously proclaimed how much he loves his partner and how excited he was about his baby - so much so that he was traveling around the world doing promo for MI-3 days before baby Suri came and then was in Germany when she was 4 days old, doing more promo. Actions speak louder than words, buddy. If my Hubby took off like that when baby was 4 days old - the locks would have been changed when he returned home.

So even in the midst of movie stars and craziness, there is a message about priorities and family. Easy to see God at work there.

kids don't make you happy?

I was listening to an interview on the radio this morning - some Harvard psychologist who has written a new book about happiness. He talked about the misconception about children making someone happy. Research shows that happiness plummets when children are born. It starts to rise again as the kids get older, and then plummets again when adolescence comes. Once the empty nest arrives, happiness gets back to pre-kid levels. My friend Katalina said something about this a few weeks ago, and I thought it was odd when she said it. Aren't my kids the best thing in my life?

But today - it made more sense. Monday and Tuesday I was anxiously awaiting Sonny Boy leaving for his week-long spring trip on Thursday morning. Most of our conversations for days had consisted of him loudly singing, "I GOT SOME BEANS IN MY POCKET! YO-DE-A, YO-DE-A. I'M A G. I'M A G!"

But then as soon as the boy hugged and kissed me good-bye Thursday morning, I missed him and can only think fondly of how happy he makes me.

Ah, the human paradox...

can't hide from mother nature

Since becoming pregnant with Sonny Boy close to 12 years ago - I have tried to feed my family as best I can. I try to be economical, and also to provide the best nutrition. My kids have tried many foods that most adults either have never tried or do not wish to try. Soy, tofu, all sorts of veggie meats, exotic fruits and vegetables and grains - these are staples in our household. I even enjoy watching TLC's new show, Honey we're killing the kids, because it makes me feel good about trying to provide my family with good food and a healthy lifestyle. (don't we love to compare ourselves to others and feel smug about how great we think we are ?)

Now I am not a food nazi - I let them have treats here and there. They will occasionally have a soft drink or a chocolate chip pancake or a sucker. (I know I am a hypocrite - if anyone takes away my daily Diet Coke - it's death. But I did give up all soft drinks the whole time I was pregnant and nursing!)

Now Hubby is getting older - 51 at last count. He's in great shape (particularly for his age), but it's important to watch what he eats. One thing I stay away oftentimes (due to expense and high sugar content and lack of nutrition) are those breakfast cereals. I always keep homemade granola, and if we buy some cereals, I try to go to a health food store or get the less sugary ones. I could care about breakfast foods - but those sugary, kids cereals don't need to be in our house.

Sunday morning (for Mother's Day), Hubby wanted to make breakfast. I would have been happy to make a usual yogurt or half an English muffin - but since he wanted to do it, I told him french toast. He said we were out of syrup (I always make syrup and apparently it had been all used up without my knowledge). Hubby went to the store to buy syrup that morning. Later that day, I was looking in the pantry and I noticed that one of the empty plastic cereal containers now had cereal in it (beside the homemade granola container). I looked. It was full. I opened the top of the container and immediately knew - Frosted Flakes. I looked in the kitchen recycling bin - fairly full - and no Frosted Flakes box.

He knew I wouldn't like it. Not only had the man snuck them into the house, he had immediately taken the box to the outside recycling bin - hoping not to be caught.

When I confronted him with this info, he only grinned. Good thing he has someone to watch out for him.

I'm a good mom

Well, the Mercedes SUV is back with its rightful owner. It sure was fun driving it - but now I am back to either the '95 Windstar or (my preference and the car which has my name listed as owner) the '91 Nissan Sentra. I love driving my little 5 speed, even though its outward appearance is really starting to look rather sad. The paint job is chipping, and we are getting a new underliner soon. And we are missing one hubcap. But it's a good car.

I have two bumper stickers (which I have had for some time). One says, "God bless the people of every nation." I got this one soon after 9/11. The other sticker says , "God is not a Republican or a Democrat." Got that one during the last Presidential election. Oh - I do have a small sticker on the window that says "Duke Divinity School."

This morning Sonny Boy and I were tooling around in the Nissan - buying some new skater boy shoes and checking out the locally owned skate shop (interesting place, I assure you - reminds me of some of the shops in downtown Asheville). After our purchase, the owner of the skate shop gave Sonny Boy some free stickers - like he needs more. One was a bumper sticker that proudly proclaimed, "I'd rather be Skateboarding!"

I let him add it to the bumper stickers on my beloved Nissan. Happy Mother's Day to me.

dependence - not a bad thing

For 11 and 1/2 years, I had the luxury of having my parents live close to us (17 miles away, to be exact). Dad was retired and Mom retired during that period. The free time was crucial - because their main jobs became Child Care Provider for Grandchildren. For years, I wondered how all my friends were able to pull it together without free grandparent care and assistance any time they needed it. Some paid babysitters fairly often, but many also had friends who helped out. Inspite of frequent Free Grandparent Care, there were times we still needed help and I relied on wonderful friends. But those times weren't too often, and we were able to reciprocate.

So now we are out of the Free Grandparent Care zone. Two and a half hours is a little much for things like, "Can you pick up the kids today?" or "Hubby and I want to go see a movie tonight" or "He's driving me crazy! Please take him off my hands for a couple days!" I am obtaining insight into how many people in our very mobile society pull it all together. Since moving here, we very quickly started depending on others to help out. When I had my surgery last fall, thank goodness we had friends who kept the kids for a couple nights. (Mom and Dad were coming down, but Dad ended up in the hospital with far more serious issues than plantar fasciattis.) Thank goodness for carpooling. Thank goodness for friends who gladly switch off childcare - because who can afford to pay babysitters all the time? And thank goodness for people who will help out at the last minute, because Hubby forgot to look at the calendar and didn't know he would be gone while I had a Board meeting.

And we are now in our second week of the '95 Windstar being in the shop - new transmission (yea). Flexible as my job is, we can't always do without a car for Hubby. Last week, some friends loaned us their extra car - a really nice double-cab Ford 150. This week, Hubby is tooling around in a Mercedes SUV. (And we didn't even ask to borrow either one of these cars - our friends just volunteered.) It kinda freaks me out to see a nice car in our driveway. The van certainly looks better than my '91 Nissan. (And I'm not even thinking about gas mileage - Hubby's not driving very much.)

Southerners seem to always be dependent upon the kindness of strangers (pardon the split infinitive, but blame Tennessee for that). Thank goodness we can especially be dependent upon the kindness of friends - no matter how new they are.

memory, pt. 2

We all know that memory is a funny thing. My brother and I are just two and a half years apart, but some of our childhood memories are worlds apart. Mine and Hubby's memories (like him not remembering I had asked him to dust the living room) can also vary greatly, even with just a day's span of time. And my Granny's memory is really fading. Everything in the brain is jumbled around. She continues to have difficulty remembering me, even though we have always been very close. Yet, she remembers my children clearly. Odd.

I heard on NPR this morning a piece about a woman named AJ. She has a memory that scientists say is very unique - no one else is known to be like AJ. She is about my age, and everyday for the past 25 years is like a recording of them. One can ask her a specific date (like April 2, 1984) and she will tell you everything exactly as it was. Time has not muddied any of her memories. Each and every day, every date, every aspect of those previous days is as clear as her present day. Amazing.

The reporter asked her about what it was like. Was it a gift or not? I immediately thought I wouldn't like it - anytime my heart had been crushed (or when I crushed another's heart) would be as clear and present to me as this moment. How could time heal all wounds, if I didn't have time to dull the pain? Yet, AJ said it was a gift to be able to remember her childhood so clearly. I thought that perhaps it would be a gift to remember my Papa more clearly - that's all getting pretty fuzzy - and to remember more of the things that Granny can't remember anymore. Appreciating the good can certainly balance the not so good.

Here's to appreciating pleasant memories...

official preppy handbook meet surfer boy

As soon as I picked up Sonny Boy from school on Thursday (Friday was a holiday), he started complaining about how hot it was and how he really needed some more shorts. Finding shorts is not easy for my picky 12 year old. Shorts have to come to the knee - one inch above and they are WAY too short and WAY too girly. And since Sonny Boy is still on the lean side, shorts that are long enough are often too big around his skinny waist. There are also only 2 approved shopping places - Old Navy and Target. And even then - clothes do not always meet approval.

Friday morning and we are off to Old Navy. "Mom, I want some of those shorts that are like shirts. You know, like those shirts that button down." I said I had no earthly what he was talking about. I was also a little stunned that he was moving away from athletic shorts. Sonny Boy started wandering around ON and finally found a cotton, plaid, button down shirt - "Like this, Mom!" "Honey, I'm not sure Old Navy has shorts like that in your size." We looked, and sure enough we finally found some cotton, madras plaid shorts (which thankfully came down to his knees). I was having mega-flashback to my favorite book from high school, The Official Preppy Handbook. I stood in the middle of ON, gazing off in the distance and fondly remembering all my favorite pairs of old walking shorts, worn with an Izod polo shirt and either my canvas Tretorns or tassle loafers (no socks, of course). Oh - those were the days.

Really hard to believe Sonny Boy wanted to wear the same kind of shorts I once did.

Sonny Boy then announced, "Mom, I need a couple new shirts." "No you don't - you only wear tshirts and you have so many you can't even shut the dresser drawer." "But Mom, but they all have sleeves and I need a shirt like this." (as he held up a bright orange muscle shirt) I had another flashback to all the rednecks at my mountain high school - wearing awful muscle shirts trying to impress the girls with any amount of biceps they might have. I shook my head hard to erase the image as I tried not to gag. (with a spoon...)

"No - you don't need new shirts and I'm not buying any." "But Moooommmmm - I really want a shirt without sleeves!" I decided what the heck - he could go home and cut the sleeves off two of his old tshirts.

We had not been home long that day when he was wearing his new plaid shorts, accompanied by a gray tshirt filled with colorful surfboards - and no sleeves. I'm pretty proud of myself for not laughing in front of him.

Amy Tan

One good thing about moving to Greensboro has been the high quality speakers who come through this town for various lecture series. I was very fortunate last night to drive 10 minutes to Guilford College. They are completing a 3 year focus on Asian Studies, as well as the current 1 year focus on Spirituality. (Guilford is a Quaker school - and a very good one at that.)

The Opposite of Fate: An Evening with Amy Tan was the billing. I have been a big Amy Tan fan since The Joy Luck Club first came out. I have become even more enamored with her after Hubby and I decided to adopt a baby from China. I enjoy her writing immensely, and especially appreciate the understanding she provides as a Chinese American.

Ms. Tan was far better than I imagined. She was quite entertaining, engaging, personable, funny, and poignant. (And I must say she was wearing an incredibly beautiful asymetrical purple wrap skirt with a rich purple sweater and throw - I spent too much time wondering where she bought such an incredible outfit.) The Opposite of Fate is essentially the story of her life and how it influenced her writing. Her father was a Baptist minister who earned his living as an electrical engineer. He died while she was a young teen, in the same year her older brother also died (both of brain tumors). Her mother, quite an interesting character, continued to be a major influence in her life, as witnessed in her writing. In both her own life and in her writing, she has mixed the realities of life (and sometimes the very difficult ones) with humor and compassion.

One of my favorite stories came from an explanation she offered about the line "strength of the wind" in The Joy Luck Club. She ran across Cliff Notes of her book (much to her surprise) and was interested how much symbolism they placed into this phrase. She explained that it came from a Chinese phrase which literally means, "Loud farts don't smell, but the silent ones are deadly." It certainly provides some insight into the term, "breaking wind." (Sure hope my family of origin appreciates this story.)

I was also interested in the writers' band with which she has been involved for a number of years. They perform only for charity - literacy programs to be exact. Fellow band members include Stephen King (are you reading, Edgy Mama?), Dave Barry, Barbara Kingsolver and others.

The evening ended by a question about her "muse." I had noticed when she first came to the podium that she had a large purse with her. I thought - "Couldn't someone have taken that for her?" She placed the purse behind the podium. Upon being questioned about her "muse," Ms. Tan said she brought her muse in case she needed inspiration. She then opened the large purse, and a tiny and very cute little terrier trotted around the stage, to applause from the full theater. She sure seems like a fun person.

Stylin'

Back in Asheville for a couple days to visit. It's good to be back in a town where my average, everyday wear looks downright sophisticated and stylish compared to much of the hippie population. Haven't felt so good about my appearance in months!

what should women read?

I ran across an interesting excerpt recently about women reading novels. It is from James' Fordyce's Sermons to Young Women, first published in England in 1766. It reads,

"...there seem to be very few, in the style of Novel, that you can read with safety, and yet fewer that you can read with advantage. - What shall we say of certain books, which we are assured (for we have not read them) are in their nature so shameful, in their tendency so pestiferous, and contain such rank treason against the royalty of Virtue, such horrible violation of all decorum, that she who can bear to peruse them must in her soul be a prostitute, let her reputation in life be what it will. But can it be true - say, ye chaste stars, that with innumerable eyes inspect the midnight behaviour of mortals - can it be true, that any young woman, pretending to decency, should endure for a moment to look on this infernal brood of futility and lewdness?"

A little different from any sermon I've ever given. I'd probably only put Ann Coulter books in this category - can you, dear readers, think of any others?

Nanny McPhee - the movie

Since my children saw the previews during the Holidays, I have promised that I would take them to see Nanny McPhee. I have gotten to the point I really hate most kid or family movies, but this one was starring Colin Firth and Emma Thompson - so of course I told them I would take them. (And I was quite suprised to see Sir Derek Jacoby in a small and silly role.) It's been out for a month, but we finally made it yesterday. And I must say that Colin still looks absolutely dishy, even wearing a velvet kelly green jacket with a red velvet vest. (Yes, this is a fairy tale story.)

The premise - Mr. Brown (Colin) is a widower with seven of the wildest children one has ever seen. They pride themselves in getting rid of nannies, and especially in record setting time. The agency refuses to send any more, but thankfully a new nanny magically appears (Emma Thompson - and barely recognizable - if you get an Oscar for making yourself ugly, she would easily score in this get-up). Kelly McDonald plays the scullery maid, Evangeline, and is her always luminescent self (I would LOVE to see her in more, and bigger, roles - far too talented for those of us in the States to be missing out on her.) Another issue in the Brown household is that a wealthy, opinionated, and self-important aunt (Angela Lansbury) financially supports the house. She has insisted that Mr. Brown marry within the month (because those wild kids need a new mom) or he loses the money - thus breaking up the family.

It's a fairy tale, so the story is predictable. I anticipated the ending, but it was done far more beautifully than I could have imagined. It's sweet, hopeful, and has a good message for children. (unlike Chronicles of Narnia, where I felt like the message was go and kill anyone you think is evil) At the end of the credits, a line simply said "This film is dedicated to all who are truly naughty. And to their children."

BINGO. Perfect movie for my family...

My grade - B-

why middle aged women shouldn't go to mardi gras

(thanks to Marj for sending this my way...)

The Big 3-9

I am officially 39 today (and yes, I really am - this will be the only year I will be this age). In honor of this day, I wanted to share from a magazine interview. My friend LM, knowing that I'm an Anglophile, sent some pages from More magazine. (a new magazine for women over age 40) They had interviewed Emma Thompson (one of my faves). She said these words about aging,

"It's just lovely getting older. You know, I don't worry so much about myself really. I feel as though now there is no time for any of that, there's no time to kvetch about who you are, what you mean. That sort of self-doubt belongs to when you're younger."

Ireland by Frank Delaney

Frank Delaney, something of an Irish historian, has written a beautiful, fulfilling and epic novel in his latest work, Ireland. This is his first book published in the States, and I certainly look forward to seeing more from him.

Ireland begins a few years after the end of WWII in a small Irish town. It is a dark and windy night when a 9 year old boy, Ronan, sees a Storyteller coming to his house. For his whole life, he has heard the mythic legend of a storyteller - how they preserve the history of Ireland with myths, legends, real and imagined characters, and sweeping stories that enthrall all who sit by the fireside of the Storyteller's host. This old man is said to be the last of the great storytellers, as Ireland comes into the modern age.

I thought at first that the place of Ronan was simply to provide a backdrop for the wonderful stories of this old man. The stories are so engaging that one forgets the backdrop is early 1950s Ireland. I felt as if I were truly there in the original ancient stories. Yet, as the book unfolds, the reader begins to realize that the Storyteller has "chosen" Ronan to succeed him, and that the stories of Ireland - as they proceed through history - shed light on Ronan's own story as he becomes a man and seeks to follow the Storyteller. The story of Ronan (quite interesting in itself) and the story of Ireland are intertwined beautifully. The book is long, yet I was wanting to read more at its end. I didn't want the story to end.

Delaney also provides a wonderful gift in his insights about stories - how the story of Ireland and of one man's life are mirrors of our own story. The story of Ireland is a meta-story upon which we can reflect and better understand our history, our present and our future. Delaney realizes that truth, even if not always fact, is the core of a great and transforming story. He understands how a person's spirit and truth are interconnected, and that story helps us discover more of ourselves in and through the storytelling. He writes on p. 559, "The one joy that has kept me going through life has been the fact that stories write us....And the way we all see our story...that's what we own, no matter who we are and where we come from....Indeed, our story is finally all any of us own..."

It's hard to imagine a better vision for a society so fragmented and so disconnected from our own stories. This is a must read. My grade - A

Arthur and George by Julian Barnes

Julian Barnes' latest novel, Arthur and George, was published at the end of last year. After reading a review in my favorite magazine (Entertainment Weekly), I anxiously awaited the arrival at the local library. I believe I was the first one to check out this new book.

Barnes gathered actual newspaper clippings, letters, journals, etc. about Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (author of the beloved Sherlock Holmes series), and in particular collected the writings about Doyle coming to the aid of a wrongly convicted Englishman, George. The story tells of these two individuals, Arthur and George, from boyhood until Arthur's death. The stories of these two men only intersected for a short while - thus the book deals with individual lives for the most part. There is an interesting twist in the life story of George - a twist George refused to acknowledge, but that Arthur knew was of great importance.

Barnes weaves a very interesting piece of historical fiction. He uses actual events and writings, but is very clear about what is conjecture and invention on his part (please pay attention, James Frey). The characters he creates are memorable - however near or far they are to reality. Barnes uses language beautifully, and the worlds he creates are fresh, full and real. The story of Arthur is especially rich and interesting. I could not wait to turn the page and discover where his life would lead. Even when Arthur was dealing with middle-aged malaise, it was still a compelling story. I had more difficulty relating to George - or even being that interested in his story. He is nowhere near as interesting a person or has such a full life as Arthur. It felt like Arthur were really the main character, and that George -instead of being equal in billing - was really one of the bit players in the life of Arthur. I was sympathetic for George, but had difficulty identifying with his character. I found myself reading quickly through much of his life story and wishing that it would go faster - just so I could get back to the story of Arthur. That said, I appreciated the technique Barnes used in creating this story and the interaction of these two men's lives.

Overall, it is a well written book, with an interesting story - even though the interest is primarily in one character. I definitely recommend a read - especially for anyone who has enjoyed Sherlock Holmes over the years. My grade - B

China in the News

China has been in the news lately - and I'm not talking about Google and Yahoo. In recent years, a phenomenon has been taking place in the world of tennis. Tennis is growing the fastest in Asia. More and more Asians are picking up rackets, and tennis tournaments (even large scale ones) are coming to prominence in Asia, particularly China. In the last couple years, the Chinese women have invaded the top 100 of the Women's Tennis Association. The highest ranked is #31, Peng Shuai.

Peng has very recently spoken out about wanting more freedom. She wants to be in charge of her training regimen and tournament schedule (last year, the Chinese had their national tournament during Wimbledon and required their players to be in China). Peng also wants to split her prize money. In return, she will pay her own expenses (which can be considerable for a professional tennis player). In short, she wants some independence and not have her tennis career completely dominated by the state.

We've seen this kind of thing occur in the world of sports over the years. Let's hope Peng will be successful. I'm hoping China is too busy with internet difficulties to give her problems about her proposal.

Olympic Importance

On Monday, 26 year old Greensboro native Joey Cheek won the gold medal in men's 500m speed skating. Cheek has not been one of the highlighted athletes and wasn't even expected to win a gold. He could have simply enjoyed the limelight and tried to turn that into mass marketability and money. But he chose to take his time with reporters in a different direction.

Cheek came from a family where money was by no means rampant (and supporting an Olympic hopeful not an easy task), but it was a family where they believed they should help others who were in need. They gave money, time, energy and effort to help local and global efforts. At Cheek's press conference, he said he didn't really want to talk about the sacrifice and the great moment of winning a medal - he wanted to talk about the people of the Sudan. He highlighted the very difficult situation there, and then said he was giving his winnings ($25,000 for a gold medal - a healthy amount of money for a struggling and fairly unknown athlete) and any future winnings from any other medals he might win to Right to Play, an organization helping Sudanese refugee children in Chad. He challenged the sponsors to do the same. So far, Nike has accepted that challenge.

Cheek is hoping to hang up his skates and go to college. Harvard rejected his application for early admission. Let's hope they will realize the value of a person who sees the value in helping others and taking his moment of fame to highlight people in need.

Honorable mentions to Bode Miller, who with his family has always done and given a lot to those in need; and to 19 year old Shaun "The Flying Tomato" White - the snowboarding genius and my son's hero - for saying that all this fame stuff is kinda cool, but family is the most important thing (Sonny Boy and I watched the interview together - hope it gets through that thick 11 year old skull!).

The Vagina Monologues

Last night, UNCGreensboro hosted a production of The Vagina Monologues. UNCG has a great theatre department, and the monologues were truly well done. A couple of my friends/coworkers participated, as well as other staff and a number of students. The event was in observance of V-Day. V-Day is a global movement to end violence against women and girls that raises funds and awareness through benefit productions of Eve Ensler's award-winning play The Vagina Monologues. More than $30 million has been raised over the years to help in these issues. The 'V' stands for Victory, Valentine, and Vagina.

The play itself is really a mixture of two things - the celebration of being a woman and a woman's sexuality (instead of the guilt or shame that seems to go along with being a woman); and the stories of women who have been abused through violence, especially sexual violence. Each woman's monologue is based on true stories. Some are very humorous. Others bring you to the point of tears. It is a very powerful production that men and women alike should see.

One in three women will experience violence in her lifetime. Let's do all we can to help combat it. Let's do all we can to help girls and women be proud of who they are and the wonderful bodies God gave them.

The Garden Angel by Mindy Friddle

A week ago I was able to attend my Asheville Book Group. There were a couple new members (since 3 of us moved to the Triad last summer), and one of them is Valerie (see about her book). We read The Garden Angel by Mindy Friddle, someone Valerie knows. She was able to set up a speaker phone call with Mindy so that we could talk with her about the book, ask questions, and have her comments and insights. It was a really good evening - I wish I could always talk with the author of books I read.

I must say up front that I really liked this book. (I am a little amazed that I've read two works of fiction in a row that I really liked!) Mindy has written a true Southern novel, but one that thankfully does not fall into the melodramatic Oprah versions of Southern fiction. Mindy provided some great insights into what really makes Southern fiction - not just a setting, but how that setting permeates the characters. The basic story is this - a young woman named Cutter (who lives in a very tiny drive-thru town near Greenville, SC in the late 1980s) is desperately trying to save her grand and historic home. Every real estate agent should read the techniques Cutter uses to keep potential buyers from being interested in her home! (some truly hilarious pieces) Mindy does a great job combining humor with the serious issues of life. Cutter becomes friends with Elizabeth, a woman dealing with free-floating anxiety. Cutter's younger sister is also having an affair with Elizabeth's husband, a man who is the sister's college professor. The book deals with how Cutter and Elizabeth try to maintain or find roots in their lives - how they try to move forward in the midst of what seems like overwhelming odds.

I don't want to give away more of the story. The characters are full and compelling. The story feels real - it is funny, sad, poignant and interesting. I asked Mindy if she knew what would happen to the characters after the story ended - she did not. Yet it's so well-written that one can't help but imagine what the future holds for them. I recommend picking up the book and having a good read.

memory

The mind is a very funny thing. It develops and develops to a point, and then for many of us it stops working as well or perhaps just gets jumbled around some. Memory is especially a funny thing - how come my brother and I remember things so differently? Why are some things blocked from my brain and other things cannot be removed (like every single year for 22 years remembering the birthday of my first love, even though we haven't been in touch for 20 years)?

I am back in Asheville for a day and a half. It just worked out for me to come on my way (kinda) from a business meeting out of town. I saw Granny first thing when I got back into town yesterday. She's 91 now and has been in a nursing home since mid-November. It's a really nice place and it's where she needs to be. Granny was present when I was born - we lived with her until age 10 - and then she has always lived very near or very close to us. She likes to say that she helped raise my brother and me. Granny didn't recognize me initially yesterday - I said "Granny," and she knew a grandkid would say that and came up with my cousin Brenda's name. It's okay - it didn't really make me sad - she seems happy and talked about my children for a long time during our visit (her favorite story about 15 times over - she loves reruns!).

Then today I have been visiting friends. I saw my beloved mentor, Ashley, still recovering from that terrible car accident last summer. I am still so thankful she is here and doing so well - even though there is still so much left in her recovery. I've seen some other friends during the day and will even get to go to a Book Group meeting tonight.

I am so thankful for all the dear friends I have up here - and know I will continue to have - but memories and friendships are continuing without me. It's just the way it is. It doesn't mean that I won't continue with my friendships - we certainly will continue. But memories of me will be more rare and far between. And I wonder when I'll be able to see my friends without wanting to cry - tears of happiness to be with them and then tears of regret that I am missing so much of their lives and they are missing so much of mine.

Better Homes and Husbands by Valerie Ann Leff

I need to say up front that this will not be a typical book review for me. Valerie is a writer who lives in Asheville and joined my book group after I moved. Book Group read the book last fall, and I finally got around to it in the last couple weeks.

And my first thought upon completing the book was, "Why on earth have I waited 3 months to pick up this book?!" It was just a really, really good read. I thoroughly enjoyed it and had difficulty putting down the book.

The premise is this - it is the story of a high end apartment building on Park Avenue in NYC and its inhabitants. The story unfolds over 30 years and from a variety of perspectives. There is not a narrator who knows everything and part of the joy of the book is trying to piece together the story. The characters are people whose lives are very different from my own, but they are presented in such a way I feel as if I know them. They are full, interesting, and developed characters who seem quite real. Just when I am ready to despise a character, I see another side of them. They are truly complex, sympathetic people.

The storylines are compelling and intertwine in wonderful and surprising ways. I appreciate the handling of issues of wealth and justice. The understanding of love, friendship, and companionship is well done. It is a story that will stay with me for a long time. I fully recommend the book to everyone!

Happy Chinese New Year!

"Kung Hei Fat Choy!" (or - "Congratulations and Be Prosperous!") Sunday begins the Chinese New Year, a 15 day celebration observing the beginning of a new year in China. Today, children will receive red envelopes (just like the one above) with money (it should be a multiple of 2, so $2 would definitely do it!). Lots of great foods will be eaten, and friends and family will visit and wish each other good luck.

For these two weeks, family, friends, and ancestors are remembered. The gods of the household are honored. Government offices are closed. All sorts of symbolic foods are served (and please let's remember that fortune cookies were invented in San Francisco to make all the white people coming to Chinatown happy).

It is the year of the Dog, a loyal, happy and tenacious creature. (I do find it ironic that Sonny Boy (given name Caleb, Hebrew for "faithful like a dog") seems to fit his Chinese birth year.) So go find a dog to pat, eat some Chinese food and celebrate!

Reading Lolita in Tehran: A Memoir in Books by Azar Nafisi

I had heard about this book for some time before I finally purchased it last summer. It seemed interesting for a number of reasons - primarily because it dealt with women under an Islamic regime, and also because it seemed to be about a book group (and I do love my book group!). The author is an English professor, a talented and educated woman who taught in Tehran while attempting to deal with a regime that was extremely oppressive to women. She was educated in the States, and has now lived here for a number of years. She lived in Tehran through times I vaguely remember of the seizing of the consulate and an ill-fated rescue attempt. With all the recent discussion of Iran and its regime in the news, the book once again could find a new audience (it was first published in 2003).

Dr. Nafisi centers her memoir around several works of fiction and authors - Lolita, Gatsby, James and Austen. I have read much of these works and felt that gave me a leg up in working my way through her book. I can see where it might be a challenge (though not fruitless) for those unfamiliar with these works and authors. The memoir is not only centered around these books, but also the "book group," seven young women who loved fiction and met regularly with their former professor to discuss such things. As with many book groups, the discussions began to center less and less on the book and more and more on personal lives.

I found the book quite informative about the Islamic regime. It was quite interesting to have such a fresh perspective on living there - in a country that she and many others love, but with a government that seemed hell-bent on making it impossible for one to live there. The perspective and memories were enlightening and created beautifully.

However, the book seemed to ramble much of the time. Not knowing the history of Iran as Dr. Nafisi does, I would struggle to keep track of where she was in her memoir. Her "girls" in her book group I also had difficulty separating one from the other. They certainly had very different stories, but with the lack of linear progression and oftentimes focus in the book, I had to keep turning back to the first explanation of who the girls were to attempt to keep them straight.

Dr. Nafisi writes beautifully, if not always cohesively. Hers is an important voice to hear in today's world. Here are some quotes that I particulary enjoyed -

(in describing a colleague) I used to tease her that the word immaculate had been created for her. When I got to know her better, I came to see that all this orderliness was a camoflage for a passionate nature matched by insatiable desires.

Fiction was not a panacea, but it did offer us a critical way of appraising and grasping the word - not just our world but that other world that had become the object of our desires....(M)y girls,...by refusing to give up their right to pursue happiness, had created a dent in the Islamic Republic's stern fantasy world.

Living in the Islamic Republic is like having sex with a man you loathe...if you're forced into having sex with someone you dislike, you make your mind blank...We are constantly pretending to be somewhere else.

It becomes clear that the oppressive regime could not take away imagination, even with the burning and banning of many books. For Dr. Nafisi and others like her, it is places like the Roaring 20's in America, Regency England in the country, Victorian Europe and others created in fiction, that give them the ability to live. Dr. Nafisi's great love and understanding of fiction, and how that functions in her life, is truly the driving force in this memoir. The conclusion is strong. The last chapter is easily the best in the book. I recommend a read - and just remember when you find yourself struggling through some of the confusion of the earlier chapters, the best is yet to come. My grade - B-

Brokeback Mountain - the movie

Beautiful. Enthralling. Compelling. Heart-wrenching. Just as the main character, Ennis del Mar, has difficulty finding words to express himself, it is difficult to find words to express how powerful this movie is. I don't normally go for serious love stories (be it straight, gay, or a child and their dog), but I am so glad I made an exception this time. On Sunday afternoon I entered a fairly full theatre with my friend Alice to see this long awaited movie. Why did I want to see it? One - I think director Ang Lee is incredibly gifted (as seen from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and Sense and Sensibility). Two - I have always liked Heath Ledger (from the days he was 18 years old and starred in Shaun Cassidy's short lived Celtic fantasy series, Roar) and felt he has not received the credit or roles he really deserves.

The story is simple - in 1963, two cowboys are hired to look after a herd of sheep on Brokeback Mountain in Wyoming. They fall in love, but know that this kind of love is dangerous. Their affair ends with the end of the job and they attempt to live their lives as best they can. The movie tells the story of these two men, their families, and their love over a 20 year period.

The story is real and compelling. The actors use their bodies and faces more than words. Each nuance of body movement, be it an eye flicker or nod of the head, or a violent wrestling scene, conveys much more than pure dialogue could. The four primary actors use their bodies to act in wonderful ways, but especially Ledger. As Ennis, his body expresses what he cannot quite understand and could never verbalize. And when he does speak, he says far more than the actual words spoken from his mouth. Truly an Oscar worthy performance.

The symbolism of Brokeback Mountain is the focus of the movie - something that is beautiful beyond words, magnetic, peaceful, fulfilling; yet also isolating, unpredictable, lonely, frightening, and unable to be possessed. Some of us have known a love like that - definitely heart-wrenching. Add into that the danger and threat of such a love between two men, and the place of deepest joy and refuge becomes even more unattainable than ever.

The cinematography is spectacular. It makes me want to travel to Wyoming one day. The direction is incredible - each shot of the film is valuable, important and integral to the story. The music complemented the moods of the story and expanded it (instead of taking it over as it does in so many movies and tv shows today). The story and the acting could not be better. This is a truly great movie on a number of levels - emotionally, critically, and politically. And speaking as one who always looks for a redemptive note in the world, and knowing that sometimes there just isn't one, I felt the story arc and ending were fitting and perfect. I would not have changed one thing. My grade - A

The Chronicles of Narnia - the movie

I had been anxiously awaiting The Chronicles of Narnia to hit the big screen since last summer. The C.S. Lewis series is an old favorite of mine and one we have read to our children. Over Christmas break, I made sure we had an opportunity to see this long awaited movie.

And yet it has taken me over two weeks to write my personal little review. I am usually so anxious to share my opinion with the world, and so I couldn't understand why I wasn't ready to turn on the computer the minute I got home. Then I realized why - the movie did not meet my expectations. I was disappointed.

Now I need to say that my children were not disappointed at all. They loved it - as have most the people I know who have seen it. So why did I find myself looking at my watch several times throughout the movie and then not even staying for the credits (a sacrilege in my book)? The movie did a number of things well. It stayed close to the story. The cinematography was incredible, and the final showdown between good and evil was quite well done. The actors were believable and engaging. So what was my problem?

It all just felt so flat to me. Despite the big budget extravagances, the movie seemed one-dimensional. There was no trepidation as to what might happen next. (Even in a Harry Potter movie - when I know exactly what will happen - I find myself on the edge of my seat.) The storyline seemed ho-hum, - oh yeah, now's the time the brother is going to be really stupid and go to the witch; yeah, the lion is sacrificing himself; yada, yada, yada. I was not invested in the characters (despite the quality acting job). There was no mystery, little magic, inspite of the incredible special effects and various creatures. I have asked myself why several times in the past couple weeks. Was it the storyline itself? Was it the original book or the screenplay? Is this a book that is better left on the written page?

I'm not sure about the answer, but I am sure about my disappointment. I know this movie will win some awards - and deservedly so in some cases. Yet, it left me wanting more. I think I'll have Hubby take the kids to the sequel. My grade - B-

B4B entry - The Girl Scout Cookie boyfriend

This is a Blogging for Books entry - entries are to be about an ex this month. In honor of Girl Scout Cookie sales (going on now!), I wanted to share this particular story about an ex.


I was getting tired of being in the car. Mom had been driving me around for while, with my younger brother staring out the window in the back seat. We kept stopping every few minutes at a different house. I would check my list about which boxes I needed to take to the door, and then Mom and I would get them from either the back seat or the trunk. After delivering the boxes to the family, I would take my leave by perkily saying, "Thank you so much for supporting the Girl Scouts! We are going to have a great Spring trip and do lots of great things thanks to you!!"

There were several times when I slid back in the car that I thought I heard Mom mutter something like, "238 boxes..." and "just HAD to sell more than anyone else."

We were making serious headway as we took the road to Robbie Owenby's house. I planned to deliver the boxes to his mom, collect the money, and then spend a few minutes imagining walking through his door with him holding my hand. I would have to look up at the tall, older basketball player and gaze into his beautiful light brown eyes as he invited me to share some pizza and coke with his family. We would then go to the church parking lot across from his house where he would shoot hoops, only touching net every time, as I clapped and praised his athletic ability. He would take a break from practicing and decide to give me a lesson. Robbie would put his arms around me as he showed me how to shoot the ball perfectly every time. I would try to defend the basket while he dribbled, fail miserably, and we would end up laughing on the grass of the green lawn. He would then tell me how wonderful 8th grade would be for me in a couple years, and that even when he was in high school next year, he would always love me and wouldn't even notice other girls.

"Oh - there's Robbie walking to his house," Mom interrupted. "Amy, just roll down the window and ask if his mom's at home. It would save some time if she's not there." It was only in retrospect that I remember the slight smirk on my dear mother's face.

Panic quickly set in. I didn't know if he even knew who I was - small community, granted, but I was an insignificant little nerdy Girl Scout 6th grader! Mom stopped the car while I was hurriedly saying, "Please! Please go on to his house!" As the car stopped, I knew I had no choice but to roll down the window - Robbie was standing right outside it looking in. I took a deep breath. Now was THE opportunity. He'd notice me and all my dearest dreams would come true.

"Uuh...uuhhh....uuuuuhhhhhhh....Rooooobbbbie. Uuuuhhhhh....is your.....is your uuuhhhh...mom home? I...I have cookies." I tried to tear my eyes from his beautiful face, but the horror of it all was just too much to turn away.

"Nope, she's not there."

Mom leaned across the seat. "Here are the boxes. You can just give them to her and she can pay Amy at church on Sunday."

The car drove off. My brother snickered and then laughed for a long time. Mom kept trying not to grin. Barely a year goes by that my brother (especially when we have GS cookies) does not look at me with big eyes and stutter, "Uuh...uuhhh....Rooooobbbbbie!"

And every year at GS cookie time, I think of the best ex dream boyfriend I ever had.

Are Men Necessary? When Sexes Collide, by Maureen Dowd

You have to hand it to Maureen Dowd, op-ed columnist for the New York Times. She definitely knows how to create an eye-catching book title. Yes, many women have asked this question over the years, so why not create a book to explore the issue?

Dowd states up front that this is not a systematic treatise on gender issues, but simply her thoughts and observations. I appreciate the disclaimer, because the book does feel choppy and disjointed at times. Yet, if one is expecting that, then it makes it the easier to encounter. Dowd is the queen of one-line zingers and pithy pronouncements. I appreciated the laughs and thoughts that were created by them throughout the book. Some favorites -

"...women move from playing with Barbie to denouncing Barbie to remaking themselves as Barbie."

"Whether or not American feminism will be defeated by American conservatism, it is incontrovertibly true that American feminism was trumped by American narcissism."

"From my own unscientific sampling, I think it's far rarer for women to ask men to read their stuff than it is for men to ask women to read their stuff. Poor Condi Rice couldn't even get George W. Bush to read her presentation of his foreign policy goals in Foreign Affairs magazine during his 2000 campaign."

"In sport and war, the big fear of men is to be feminized. In the workplace, the big fear of women is to be diabolized."

"Women are affected by lunar tides only once a month; men have raging hormones every day."

Dowd is of the age to have lived through and experienced the feminist revolution, and to see the pendulum swing back. She understands that the feminist rhetoric of the 70s and 80s is ancient history to many of today's young women and men. While many strides have taken place, women are spending more time, money and effort on "trying to look like Barbie" than seeking equality and opportunity on par with men. Dowd also offers observations on women who are trying to use their intellect and natural gifts, and find themselves without a family or partner in life. The stats for professional women over 35 who have families (or will have) are dim - at a time when many of these women would like to do so. The chapter after Dowd glorifies the sexiness of an intellectual male, she bemoans the scarcity of men available for successful women. I would like to ask her why a "successful" woman has to have a man who is on par or more successful than she is. Men have married less educated, less professional women for years - and many have found happiness. Does feminism not include a woman broadening her horizons, looking for men who might not have a Harvard MBA, but might be very genuine, true, supportive, and proud of a "successful, professional" wife? Dowd is correct that feminism is about having options - but we shouldn't limit what those options are. (And yes, there are men out there proud to be married to a woman who is seen as more successful than they are.)

Another interesting aspect of Dowd's book was how successful women are only likable after taking a fall (Hillary, Martha, etc.) I had not thought about this - but how true! Only after public humiliation can an intelligent, highly successful woman find a likability factor. Perhaps Hawthorne's The Scarlet Letter really is the great American novel, after all.

Throughout the book, Dowd not only offers her own insights, she also gleans information from science (about that elusive Y chromosone and its degredation), politics (both sides take a hitting, which I respect), and societal culture. It is an honest book, capable of producing much conversation. The ending is thin - she could have wrapped up her thoughts more succinctly and powerfully. For people interested in gender issues, I recommend a read. It's not the ultimate feminist treatise, but it is thought-provoking reading. B-

King Kong - the movie

Well, I believe it is official that I have seen more movies this year than I have in the last 12 years (at the theater, that is). My parents took the kids for a couple days, so Hubby suggests we catch an afternoon flick. He really wanted to see King Kong. I wasn't too keen on it - it's about a big ape, for goodness sake!

Everyone knows the storyline. A filmmaker (Carl) wants to shoot a film at a previously uncharted and unknown island, Skull Island. In this version, he finds an unsuspecting actress for this role (Ann); travels with her, the screenwriter (Jack), the production crew and the sailing crew to this mysterious, primeval island. The woman is sacrificed by the natives to the giant ape, ape falls in love, is captured and brought back to NYC as a circus act. Yet, he escapes and dies on the Empire State Building, to the tears and heartbreak of Ann.

I went expecting an action movie. However, 15 minutes into the movie (being devoted to character development and background storylines), I thought - this might be more than just an adventure movie. Con artist Carl even lays it out clearly - the movie he is making is not an action movie - it is a movie about traveling to the primeval beginnings. This statement juxtaposed with the young cabin boy who is reading The Heart of Darkness tells the theme clearly. This is a movie about making that journey to the heart of who we are, about the dichotomies within each one of us. Carl is the sleezy film-maker who cannot help but destroy what he loves. He sees the good and the beauty around him, but cannot keep his greed from destroying it. Ann is a Vaudeville comedian, but her heart is filled with sadness and a fear of hope. Jack is the classic hero who only wants to write, but is compelled to be a man of action. Kong is alone, the last of his kind; but is reaching out for another, for community.

Director and producer Peter Jackson shows that the Lord of the Rings trilogy was no fluke. He is a gifted filmaker. His use of CGI technology creates some spectacular action scenes. Yet, it is his gift for story, for creating interesting and engaging characters, for revealing the details - that is what makes a really good movie. I am glad that he has gone beyond the step of LOTR evil/good split. King Kong is a movie where evil and good, laughter and sadness, action and contemplation, isolation and relationship - all reside within each one of our hearts. The actors were solid, the story was good, and the movie remains with you and with your thoughts after leaving the theater.

The movie wasn't perfect - it could have been more subtle at times, fleshed out the relationships a touch more, and deleted 5-7 minutes of the big animal fight scenes. Yet, the journey to the heart of darkness revealed what we should learn - we can rise beyond the most primitive part of ourselves and move to a higher plane. We can be more than we realize we are. Thank goodness it was not just a movie about a big ape. A-

Gaoming Welfare Agency Annual Fund

Our wonderful daughter was adopted at age nine months from China, more specifically Gaoming Welfare Agency. Gaoming is in Southern China (a climate like southern Florida), and the Welfare Agency was a welcoming and warm place. The staff with whom we interacted obviously loved our daughter and were excited for her to have a new home. In this picture, you can see the baby room - a room our daughter knew well before she came to her new home with us.

The families who have adopted from Gaoming (over 200 of us in the States) are connected together through the internet. We have a great Gaoming Family website. Each year before the Chinese New Year (usually end of January, early February), we have a fundraiser to purchase needed items for the Welfare Agency. This is always done in conjunction with the director, Mr. Li, so we make sure we get what they need most. In the past, we have purchased industrial sized sterilizers, dishwashers, air conditioning units. This year, they need baby formula the most. We are hoping to raise over $2000 to purchase formula for the entire year. Our money is channeled through Love Without Boundaries. Please click here to make a donation for this wonderful cause, and make sure to in the comments section to type Gaoming Nutrition.

Top 2005 Picks

At the request of my friend Margaret, I am going to pretend I am Stephen King, paid by Entertainment Weekly to give my top picks at the end of each year. So here is my top 10 multimedia list! (will contain books, movies, songs, etc.)

1. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by JK Rowling. I still haven't made up my mind, but this may end up being my favorite of the series thus far (supplanting book 3). I just can't get enough of HP and JK.

2. Pride and Prejudice - the movie. I was so skeptical when I heard they were doing another version of my favorite book ever. It is an incredible adaption - the most sensual interpretation of the book ever. True to the book in its essence, but in a new and wonderful way.

3. Skinny Dip by Carl Hiassan - a truly fun read - lots of humor, mystery, romance, stupidity by guys, and memorable characters.

4. Memories of Us by Keith Urban - a beautiful song that helps one appreciate being in the moment with our life partner (especially if it's during a day when he keeps finding new ways to embarrass me!)

5. American Idiot by Green Day - simply the best CD I have heard in a long, long time. A CD that is about issues important to our lives, our country and to the world. The music is rockin', the lyrics couldn't be any better, and I don't have to be ashamed to like the same songs my 11 year old likes.

6. Since U Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson - I have watched American Idol once - when I was at the beach with Walker and she made me suffer through an episode (but hey, I got to stay at her place for free that week, so it was worth the cost!). Yet, this first American Idol has had some rockin' songs this year - with this one being her best by far. Makes a girl feel she is better off by far without a boy who will drag her down instead of building her up.

7. Gilmore Girls - on the WB Channel. A show that has been on for a few years, and one of the very few shows I make a point to watch. This has been its best season yet. If you haven't watched, get on the website, catch up on past episodes (or watch reruns on Family Channel), and come along for a great ride!

8. Chef at Home - Discovery Home channel - a sexy Canadian guy that cooks up great meals for his family right from his home. Wouldn't every woman want to be this lucky?

9. French Women Don't Get Fat by Mireille Guiliano - mistaken as a diet book, but truly a lifestyle book. Those pages that have such wonderful ideas for being more healthy also have great insight into the American as consumer.

10. Real Sex by Lauren Winner - The author of Girl Meets God attempts to deal with sex from her faith perspective. It's not a perfect book by any means, and it is spotty in its theological understanding - but I appreciate the attempt to deal in a serious way with a topic that pervades our society, and often in an unhealthy manner. Very thought-provoking.

B4B entry - when loving food pays off...

This is a blogging for books entry. Check out Joshilyn Jackson's site for more info!


I readily admit it - I was an egg-head. My childhood and teen years were filled with books, church, Girl Scouts, my family, and a few select friends who didn't care that I was really a prototype for Hermoine Granger. I loved school.

Mrs. Wagner, my 8th grade teacher, was one of my favorites. At the end of class one day, she called me to her desk and showed me a brochure about a summer camp. I had only been to church camp. This new camp lasted three weeks at Mars Hill College and was a "gifted and talented camp" - or nerd camp, as many of us affectionately came to call it.

Nerd camp changed my life. I went for three straight summers. I realized I wasn't really that weird or unusual. There were many other smart girls who liked to sit around and giggle; tall, good-looking boys who liked smart girls; and professors who encouraged us to dream in big ways.

I was an old pro by my third year there. I remember the Sunday afternoon registration. I was chatting with my buddy, Anne, and checking out the new arrivals. One girl arrived with her sister and mom in tow. They were all wearing their church dresses - cute, dropped waisted items I bet her mom had sewn. They carried her clothes and bedding into her room, and then returned to the car to bring in lots of food items - many of them looking homemade. I turned to Anne and said, "We need to get to know this girl!"

LM and I became quick friends - and not just because she shared her food and clothes with me! It turned out she lived about 30 minutes away from me and attended a rival high school (unlike most of the other campers who lived all over the state and Southeast). At camp that summer, she documented with pictures my first big love (a very smart, handsome and tall tennis player). She was my main shoulder on which to cry when camp was over and my love was 7 hours downstate. We met at the mall to shop on the weekends. We met at the Thomas Wolfe Memorial to drool over our favorite author and bemoan how we couldn't wait to leave this town behind. (Yes, I have missed that town so much in recent months, and LM still lives there!) We even talked our English teachers into planning a joint field trip 3 hours downstate! LM's mom and sister made my senior prom dress (a gorgeous dropped waisted, stylish tea-length gown). LM had the same gown that year - just in a different color and fabric.

Our lives have gone in many different directions. I married soon after college (with LM as my honor attendant), had children, and a life that centers around the home and church. LM flies all over the country, doing pr and production work, and dating quite a selection of various men. She is our daughter's godmother. LM treats my children like her own, and they are substitute grandchildren for her parents. When my Mom recently turned 60, LM organized the party and had everything planned (thank heavens - I couldn't have pulled it off without her after my foot surgery!).

The lives we lead vary in many ways. We might even go a couple months without a phone call or email. Yet, just like a sister, when we do talk or see each other - it's like family. Time disappears, and we are just who we are - Rio and LM, two nerdy girls.

LM's mom still makes homemade goodies for me. My eye for good food has certainly paid off these 22 years!

Courageous Spirit

1955 was a momentous year. My mom was 10 years old, growing up with her preacher father and stay-at-home mother. The era was marked by women fulfilling household duties like cleaning, cooking and childrearing - all while wearing a beautiful dress with a full skirt. (At least that's what tv portrayed.) Whereas 10 years earlier, many women had been in the workplace to help with the war effort, now women were expected to care for the family and disregard any other callings in life.

Yet, in this same year, the Methodist Church (which was then the largest Protestant denomination in the US) voted to give women full clergy rights. Women had been preaching since the time of Jesus (and before). A number were very important evangelists and spiritual leaders in the Methodist church since its conception. However, they were not allowed to be ordained. It still amazes me (knowing the opposition I have faced 40-50 years later) that the majority of delegates (most of whom were men) at our General Conference actually voted to give women full clergy rights. The Spirit of God does move in mysterious, and wonderful, ways.

A book has just been published celebrating this event and the last 50 years - Courageous Spirit: Voices from Women in Ministry. It is a collection of essays, prayers, reflections and stories by women who have lived in ministry in the United Methodist Church. I am honored to say that they chose to include an essay I wrote, "I always wanted to be Julia Sugarbaker." You'll have to pick up the book to read it!

I am looking forward to the next 50 years!

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - the movie

Well, a miracle occurred last week. I made it to two movies at the theatre. For a person who goes about once every 3 or 4 months, it was some kind of week.

Most of you know I am an avid HP fan. I have anxiously been awaiting the movie, and have perused each and every Entertainment Weekly in recent months in hopes of a tidbit about the movie. So, family and I went to a full house showing Friday afternoon. I was hesitant to take 8 year old Princess due to the PG-13 rating and the fact that I knew exactly what would happen. But - like most other parents, I figured, "Oh, well." It did scare her a little, but she seems fairly unscathed.
As for the movie, I was not disappointed. They took a well over 700 page book and turned it into a 120 page script. I assumed Hermione's fight on behalf of house-elf rights would be left out, as well as a number of little special touches that JK always adds. I was correct. I also expected the compression of some parts of the story. I must say that they did a great job turning such a sprawling and full story into this very enjoyable movie. The only part I wish they had left in - Mrs. Weasley. Molly was not to be found in the movie. In the book, she truly becomes a surrogate mother for Harry - supporting him in his challenges, letting him know that he is not alone, and comforting him upon the awful death at the end of the Tri-Wizards Challenge. It reminded us that Harry was still a 14 year old boy, and how much he needed a family - something Molly and her brood were always more than willing to provide for him.

However, with that one exception, I found no fault in the movie. They represented the characters and the magical events quite close to my own imagination. Even Voldemort was close to the description in the novel (not an easy task, but of course Ralph Feinnes was up to the job). The casting was great - from Cedric the Golden Boy (what girl wouldn't swoon?) to flamboyant, devious Rita Skeeter.

For those of us who have read the novel, we know that it begins and ends with tragic killings by Voldemort, particularly the end of the novel. I remember reading the book the day after Thanksgiving a few years ago, reaching the death scene at the end of the Challenge, and sobbing for quite some time. The world is up against great evil, and JK does not shy away from that in the story-telling. I was afraid I would come away from the movie depressed after dealing with such subject matter. Yes, I did tear up once again towards the end of the movie - but the screenplay was done in such a wonderful way - the movie was very balanced. The majority of the middle part of the movie was filled with great humor, adventure, action, and even romance. I laughed for much of the movie. For some great laughs, I particularly loved Harry's bathtub scene with Moaning Myrtle (poor kid!), the study session with Snape (no - I do not call him Professor either), and Mad-Eye Moody's various antics (especially his "teaching" of Draco Malfoy).

The part I most anxiously awaited was the night of the Yule Ball. Who wouldn't love the night when the brainy egg-head, ignored by boys, is instead beautiful and envied by all? The movie perfectly captured the euphoria, angst, and complete despair that a teen dance always brings. I felt like I had gone back in time 20 years (and was yet thankful those days are over for me!).

And being the parent of a beautiful girl of Chinese descent, I anxiously awaited the first appearance of Cho Chang. One look at Cho and everyone knew why Harry was so smitten and barely articulate in her presence. I look forward to seeing more of that wonderful delight.

The movie has driven me back to the book once again - I am currently on the fifth chapter. That's what a really great movie will do. My grade - A-

GREAT NEWS!

Guess what I read in Parade today? It is a fact that chocolate chip cookie dough actually does have less calories than dough that has been baked into a cookie. Who knew that baking added calories? There is a God!!

Pride and Prejudice - the movie

I first read Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice when I was in junior high. I have since read all of her works numerous times - P & P probably around 15 times. Austen is my favorite author. Each word, each line, is turned so perfectly and conveys so much - it is simply genius. She understands human nature, and can convey her sharp observations like no one else.

About 10 years ago, the BBC and A & E first aired their 5 hour miniseries of P & P, staring Jennifer Ehle and Colin Firth. Yes, this was when my great love for CF first began. I was so excited to see the miniseries and hoped it would live up to the book. Amazingly, it did. 5 hours gave it the time to cover the subject matter and the scope of the story as it should. I was thrilled. And I have lost count of how many times I have watched that miniseries.

So when I first heard last spring that a new movie version (only 2 hours no less!) was coming to the big screen, I was doubtful. I had no doubts about Keira Knightly - she and Scarlett Johannson are without a doubt the two best young actresses to have come along in many years. Yet, could a 2 hour movie accurately convey the heart of the story; could it portray much beloved characters? And would any man ever supplant Colin Firth as the ultimate Mr. Darcy?

So on Wednesday I dragged my husband and two kids to see Pride and Prejudice. (The kids had already seen Harry Potter with my parents last weekend, so this was the first order of business at a movie theatre for me.) The theatre was filled was estrogen. I did see a couple other men and made sure to point them out to Hubby.

I expected some fairly large changes in the plot - characters and scenes which must necessarily be written out or compressed due to the time frame. This was true. Even though the story was compressed, it remained true to the spirit and the essence of Austen's Pride and Prejudice. The main characters were portrayed faithfully. I especially appreciated that Knightly was able to play Elizabeth Bennett as the 20/21 year old girl she was. We tend to think of her as a more refined woman, who would occasionally go walking through the mud or laugh a lot. Knightly brought out the youthfulness and impulsivity (which can lead to prejudicial judgments) of Elizabeth.

One thing I particularly appreciated about the movie was its portrayal of the Bennett household and the society. Many of us have idealized this time period in a very sanitized, orderly manner. (And yes, I will keep that vision in my heart and brain as well.) Yet, I truly enjoyed the messiness and chaos the movie represents. In the midst of such chaos, one could see how a reserved Mr. Darcy is seen as proud and arrogant.

And Matthew McFayden as Mr. Darcy? McFayden is a hottie British actor who portrayed the central character in the BBC spy drama, MI-5. He was great in that role. He combined steel with gentleness, much as he combined reserve with supressed passion as Mr. Darcy. I still hold my love for Colin Firth, but McFayden gave an arresting portrayal of a very difficult man to play. Kudos.

My one casting difficulty - Donald Sutherland as Mr. Bennett. He did fine - but why on earth could they not have found a stalwart British actor who would have added a bit more pizzaz, mischief and resignation to the role? (not to mention a British accent)

The movie also made an important shift in one other area. It is without a doubt the most sensual portayal of an Austen work I have seen. The sensuality begins with the fecundity of the surroundings, from feeding the pigs and ducks to giggling in bed with one's beloved sister. The great houses which are shown boast of incredible paintings filled with nudes. When Elizabeth arrives at Pemberly, she is shown a room with life-sized marble nudes, and then the bust of Mr. Darcy - proper but still sensual. The movie ends at Pemberly with Elizabeth and Darcy, not quite properly dressed to receive others - another nod to the passion bursting throughout the movie.

I know some Austen purists will scoff at the sensuality of the film - but I believe Austen herself would have understood and appreciated such an interpretation. If one reads Claire Tomalin's definitive biography on Austen, one realizes Austen was no stranger to meeting a young man and falling head over heels. She also remembered such a feeling so strongly that she could not bear to marry someone with less feeling, even if she would sink further into poverty. All her works are filled with supressed passion - the proper English restraint being the accepted mode of moving in society. One entire book was dedicated to it - Sense and Sensibility. I applaud this movie's interpretation.

I really liked the movie. It was not perfect (but pretty close). I will love to own it one day - and there will be times when I will pull out my BBC production, and other times I will pull out this one. Different, but both faithful to the heart of Austen's great masterpiece. My grade - A.

continuing humiliation

Well, I already recounted how embarrassing it was to ride around Sam's Club in my motorized buggy. The saga continues...

For the first time in my life, I will not share Thanksgiving with my Mom and Granny (a fact I am trying to ignore). Since we were just in Asheville this past weekend, I can't really get back up there again - and my brother and his wife invited Mom, Dad and Granny over for TDay - so my nuclear family and I will be in Gboro. Normally, I only fix pumpkin pies and cranberry relish for TDay - but I'll do the whole shebang (is that how you spell that?) this time. It's not real easy standing on my foot and cooking, but Princess and Hubby will help.

I couldn't really depend on Hubby to get everything I needed at the grocery store. He would try - but there were a number of things I needed to see and compare before deciding what I would buy. So, Hubby and I decided we would go together and I could ride in some kind of cart.

We arrived at the TajMa Teeter (real fancy Harris Teeter grocery store that I knew had a variety of carts). They only had one motorized buggy and I hated to take that if someone else came along who needed it (read: really old person who needed it). They also had a variety of carts for people with kids. One had the regular grocery cart with a bench in front of it, where two kids or one adult could sit. Hubby thought it would be really fun to push me around in that, and I thought, "Well, okay - it's probably the best we could do."

Now, Hubby is an extreme extrovert. He has to talk to everyone he sees, no matter if he knows them or not. Being so friendly is one of the things that originally attracted me to him (but as I always tell couples in marriage counseling - it's what attracts you that makes you want to kill them later on). So we stroll into HT and he starts nodding and saying hello to people, and also explaining, "She's had foot surgery. Worn this boot since July...Not easy getting around, etc., etc." I'm just trying to keep my head down, looking at the grocery list and coupons, while ignoring people staring at me and asking questions.

I don't really like to draw attention to myself. I like to think I have some sort of dignity or sophistication. Hubby doesn't really think about these things. The icing on the cake was when we saw a Mom with two kiddies in a kiddie cart, and Hubby says, "Bet my cart weighs more than yours!" He apparently had not caught the evil eye I had kept giving him, so I turned around and whispered, "Shut the h#@! up!" Poor confused man had no idea why I didn't just think the whole thing was very funny.

Then the Mom asked Hubby if he wanted a balloon for the person riding in his cart.

Please, please - I want to get this boot off my foot!

a breath of snow and ashes by diana gabaldon

I am a sucker for a good series when it comes to fiction. And even if the series starts to falter in its quality, once I become attached to characters or enthralled by a storyline - I just can't seem to let go.

Thus, when I was at Costco last month and saw Diana Gabaldon's latest installment in the Outlander series, A Breath of Snow and Ashes, I had to pick it up. If you haven't read this book, and intend to do so, don't worry - I won't give anything important away.

Outlander had been recommended to me by a number of people a couple years ago. Yet, the description kept sounding different - was it a romance, was it fantasy, sci-fi, historical fiction, a mystery? Part of Gabaldon's genius is that it was all those things. It centered on the time traveling Claire and the 18th century Scottish Highlander, Jamie Fraser. I can honestly say that Jamie Fraser is the most incredible man I have seen in fiction (and yes, I am including Mr. Darcy - whom I love very dearly, just about as much as Elizabeth Bennett - but Jamie would still be #1). Outlander was an incredible book - one of the best I have ever read.

I enjoyed the next two installments, but by the fourth the story was dragging. By the time the fifth came around - I was wishing she would just get on with it and get the story told.

This sixth book is worth the read if you are a lover of the series, yet I kept hearing Edgy Mama's voice - being the writer that she is - saying, "She is just such a popular writer that she doesn't really get edited anymore." How true. Diana - I love you and think you are beyond talented - but the book needs a good editor! I give the book a B-, but it could easily move to a B+ or maybe higher if we shaved off about 250-300 pages. Now, I like long books. Reading hundreds of pages is not a problem for me. But - this was extraneous material. No, I did not need a detailed play-by-play of an 18th century hemorrhoid operation. The book was also heavier in tone than the earlier ones - more depressing, and less mix of the levity Gabaldon can display.

That being said, overall the story was interesting. I realize part of my interest is being a North Carolinian, where the story is placed. Gabaldon proposes an interesting interpretation of what happened to the Lost Colony - I liked that. She continues to craft interesting characters, who interact well with each other. Yet, the story itself would drag - due to the lack of being edited! It needed to move at a faster pace. Even if some of the more minor characters were minimimalized - that would be for the better. In the next one, please don't give me one more young woman with a sordid sex story. I had enough in this book.

Another interesting part of the book is a character who deals with a calling from God to the ministry. God and faith have always been part of Gabaldon's writing, but this was a new take that I felt she explored in a respectful, truthful way. I didn't expect it, and due to my own profession and pulls in my own life, I found this struggle quite interesting.

I think it will have to be a B-, but it could be more. Gabaldon is still an excellent story teller who combines various genres (did I even mention mystery?) in wonderful ways. Next time - let's cut down on the extraneous storylines, characters, and descriptions - and get things rolling and moving to where I am up all night reading and in tears (like I was once with Outlander).

a true hippie town

Today I am missing Asheville more than I have in recent months. I wish I were there to celebrate and glory in the results of the election. Not only was my buddy Holly Jones the lead vote getter for city council (to enter her second term), but the town has elected its first black mayor, Terry Bellamy. Not only is Terry the first black mayor, she is also the first black woman mayor. The progressive vote is definitely out to make good changes in the Paris of the South.

I am still in disbelief over the characterization of Gboro as a granola town (please see my entry below)! For those who hold this greatly misinformed view, they need to look no further than Asheville - a true hippie town.

Greensboro - Hippie Town?

As a responsible citizen, I have spent today frantically trying to prepare myself for the Greensboro elections tomorrow. If I were still in Asheville, I would easily be able to vote on matters of conscience, integrity, and for the betterment of all my neighbors in town. Yet, I am in a new town - and thus I have little history of this city council and who are the best candidates.

I have been homebound, due to my foot surgery, so I have been reliant on the internet and some newsrags that Hubby brought home. He left one on the couch for me today, saying, "I heard some people call this an informed newspaper - kinda like Mountain Express (in Asheville)." Well, I would like to know who on earth thought Rhinoceros Times was a paper with any left-leaning sensibilities. I have been so disturbed by the racial and class disconnect and divide in this town - even trying to find a diverse neighborhood in which to live was a real challenge. I have been so pleased with the Truth and Racial Reconciliation Committee and their work - it has been great to see a town grapple with its history and the repurcussions and try to find a way to better life for all people in its environs. Yet, the RT completely negated this work - essentially calling it trivial and a waste of time. Those were certainly not the words of Archbishop Desmond Tutu when he was in Greensboro last week and commented on this committee (and I happen to think he knows more about those kinds of issues that the average North Carolinian). If the RT had offered any real substantial reasons and viewpoints for its "picks" in the election, I might be willing to read it again - but that is not to be.

And so I turn to the Yes! Weekly. I have read this on occasion since living in Gboro. I need to reiterate that I left what is commonly known as Hippie City USA (aka Asheville) just this past summer. I know what a hippie, granola town looks like. Moving to a much more "white-bread" area was an issue with which I had to grapple. So thus imagine my surprise when I read these words from Y!W, while endorsing a candidate - (Joel Landau)"...is nothing if not a hippie and Greensboro is a granola town if ever there was one."

What?! Who on earth are they kidding? Yes, I will probably go out now and vote for the "hippie candidate," but Gboro a hippie town? Is that why I have still yet to find a really good locally owned bookstore? Is that why the one food co-op in town is so small it could fit inside my house? (and don't get me wrong - I am really glad it's here) Is that why I live in what is commonly known as the most diverse neighborhood, but my daughter is one of the few people of color I see? Is that why I only see a handful of people who even look like hippies, who have one block in the city in which they hang out - as opposed to miles in Asheville?

I'm going out and buying the new Bob Marley compilation tomorrow, put some One Love bumper stickers on my car, and some more peace stickers, blast my music and start wearing dreads. (okay - I will probably forgo the dreads - I embarrass my son enough and he will be a teenager soon)

I do believe Greensboro has come a long way in recent years in regards to being more inclusive, diverse, and less white-bread. But, baby, we've come a long way, and there are still many miles to go before we sleep. Let's get real.

all saints day

November 1 - All Saints Day. In the Christian tradition, today is the day where we specifically remember the saints who have gone before us. They may be people we have known and loved personally, figures from the Bible, or people throughout history. As the great lady Rosa Parks was laid to rest yesterday, I thought it would be fitting to remember her on this special day.

It's hard to imagine a time living under Jim Crow in 1955. I was born in 1967, and even though I have heard from my Mom and Granny how segregated things were (and even though I still see so many other symptoms of segregation and racism in today's world) - it's so hard to imagine a woman being forced to give up a seat on the bus to a man. Especially a woman who has worked hard at the service of others throughout the day. I have wondered what kind of man that man was who insisted that Rosa Parks give up her seat on the bus, simply because she was black.

I also have a hard time imagining the courage it must have taken for Rosa Parks to refuse that white man. She full well knew the consequences. She had seen how black people were treated. She knew what she was about. And her faith gave her the courage to refuse to abide by unjust laws.

She arose as one of the leaders of the Civil Rights movement. Her courage, her peaceful and engaging presence, her vision are all things that I admire in this wonderful saint. I know there is still a long way to go towards racial reconciliation and equality. I pray that Rosa Park's spirit will live on in all of us as we seek to live in a more just world.