my new action figure

As a kid, I never really cared for playing with dolls. Yes, I did have Donny and Marie dolls and insisted on having my room painted purple (and wore purple socks way too often). Yet, playing dolls just seemed boring to me. My younger brother, Jerry, didn't really have dolls either. He did have action figures - I remember He-Man specifically.

I thought I was very long past these things - until I was out shopping with my friend KK the other day (while she was visiting up in the area). I found a Jane Austen action figure. My favorite author! I have read each one of her novels - Sense and Sensibility, Pride and Prejudice, Northanger Abbey, Emma, Mansfield Park, and Persuasion. I have read P & P more than any of the others - it must be close to 20 times. And each time I have read it, I have discovered something else new and delightful. Each phrase and sentence is just perfect. Austen packs a whollop with every line! I have read Emma about 10 times. I have read the others at least twice each. The woman was just a writing genius. She could convey so much, so compactly, and with such clarity - it is amazing.

I recall one of my college classmates in our Victorian Lit class. Carita was really down on Austen. She blamed her for not dealing with problems in the larger world - for just sticking with domestic issues for genteel women. Yet, do not all the world's problems come down to human nature? And what writer has displayed a greater understanding of human nature and human interaction?

Some interesting facts on Austen (from my Jane Austen action figure!)
* born Dec 16, 1775; died July 18, 1817
* lived in England her whole life
* never married
* has had over 40 sequels to P & P written by other authors

I think I'll place my new action figure near the Cretan snake goddess in my office. Attired a little differently, yes, but both strong female images.

lipstick - the ultimate savior

A couple days ago, one of my students wanted to interview me. He is in a class (don't remember which one) where they are supposed to interview some women who have gone through childbirth - and then they will compare notes in a group discussion. As one of those women who did not enjoy being pregnant (perhaps I would have if I could have looked like Jennifer Gardner does right now), I always have plenty to share about those nine months!

Here is my favorite story from that time. I went into labor the Saturday of ACC Men's BBall tournament weekend (you North Carolinians know how serious that is). When Duke lost that afternoon, I was hoping, "Maybe this will send me into labor and we'll get this over with!" My wish was granted later that day.

Hubby and I arrived at the hospital about 4am. I had been in heavy labor for a number of hours and the doctor thought if things kept progressing, Sonny Boy would arrive by about 7-8am. (The other part of this story is that Sonny Boy, with his perfectly shaped, big head and shoulders - did not arrive until after 7pm - thus causing my husband to miss the ACC final - and no, I will never let Hubby forget that comment.)

My parents arrived at the hospital early Sunday morning, anxiously awaiting their first grandchild. My Granny and brother Jerry lived with them (Granny still does, but thankfully a woman came along to take Jerry off our hands :). I spent most of Sunday morning walking up and down the halls, through the waiting area, and just pausing for a contraction. Mom was in the waiting room and was very supportive. At some point Sunday morning, Granny and Jerry arrived. "I thought they were going to church," I told Mom. She shrugged, saying she thought the same. So - I continue walking around in pain, doing my own prayers ("Please God! Get this over with !!!")

Granny didn't speak to me - she just looked and then went to Mom (standing beside me) and said, "Jackie, give Amy some lipstick - she looks sick!" I gave my best outraged, evil eye, while Mom tried to get Granny to sit down and not say anything else that would make me bananas.

Seems like most good Southern women know that lipstick does cure most things.

Chinese Mid-Autumn Moon Festival

Here's our little Princess - couple years ago at her bday party. We were fortunate enough to adopt her from China when she was about 9 months old. Even before we invited her into our home and family, we began to invite the Chinese people, and their wonderful history and culture, into our home. Thus, we observe and celebrate the Chinese holidays as best a Caucasian family from North Carolina can do!

Today, we are observing the Mid-Autumn Moon Festival. We attended the Triad Area Families with Children from China meeting this evening(after attending the Asheville one for 8 years). We shared food, had crafts for all the children who were there, and then heard the story of the Moon Festival.

So for those of you interested - the story basically starts with a marriage in turmoil. An imperial guard with a magic bow and arrows, Hou Yi, married the beautiful daughter of the River God, a young woman named Chang E. Now these two were a pair - they both craved immortality. (Voldemort, anyone?) At this time in China, there were 10 suns. They would take turns giving light to the Earth - but one day, all 10 came out at once. The heat was unbearable, rivers drying up, people dying, etc. (global-warming, anyone?) So - Hou Yi was told to take his enchanted bow and shoot the extra 9 suns out. He was of course successful, and as a reward the Queen Mother of the Western Heavens gave him a pill for immortality - but told him he could only take it after 12 months of praying and fasting.

Hou Yi arrived home, hid the pill, and dealt with a ticked off and jealous wife. The next time he left to do an errand for the emperor, Chang E searched the hut, found the pill, and immediately popped it in her mouth. She started floating into the sky just as Hou Yi arrived home. Apparently, he could fly too - was pretty angry that she did what she did - and a chase throughout the heavens ensued.

Long and short of it - Chang E ended up at the moon and lives in a jade palace there. She eventually became the Moon Goddess. Hou Yi was able to become the Sun God at some point - they made up, and they visit once a month (when the moon is at its brightest). Tonight - Hou Yi and Chang E are having a visit, the moon is bright, and people are offering up prayers and thoughts to the beautiful Moon Goddess.

In China, they traditionally eat Moon Cakes on this day. We had some of those at FCC tonight - but being North Carolinians - we also celebrate with Moon Pies! (Moon Pies having originated in NC.) Nothing like cultural meshing!

Happy Moon Festival to all.

the maestro

Well, the US Open finished yesterday. I think it may have been one of the best Opens I remember. So many good matches, unexpected wins, well deserved runs (way to go Kim Clijsters!)... And the men's final yesterday was just wonderful to behold. I wasn't an Andre Agassi fan 15 or 20 years ago. He was just far too flashy for me - guess the rebel image will never leave him. Yet, in the 20 years he has played professional tennis, he has matured into a thoughtful, articulate man who is a great ambassador for my favorite sport and also a great ambassador for those in need in the world. And yesterday, Agassi played my favorite man to watch - Roger Federer, the Maestro (as he is called).

I have never seen anyone play like Federer. It is an actual thing of beauty. I could just watch him play all day, every day. I was on retreat with my students at the beach this weekend and didn't know if I would be able to watch any tennis. Thankfully, we had cable and the time was available to see Federer in the semi-final on Saturday. My students graciously let me sit there, monopolizing the tv. One of the young women in my group, C, plopped down and announced she didn't know anything about tennis. I tried to explain some of the scoring, but it is a complicated system. It was at the time Federer and Hewitt were taking the court. Federer comes out, and C exclaimed, "He's hot!" I believe over the next hour or so of tennis, she became as much a Federer fan as I (although for different reasons). I am so glad that I can help young people discover the joys of tennis :)

I felt bad for Agassi yesterday - it would have been a great story if he had won. But to see Federer playing - I just have a hard time ever wanting to see him not play his best or not make his mark in the history books. It is truly a thing of beauty.

The Historian

Well, I finally made it through The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova. With the intensity of this new job during these current weeks, I didn't have much time or energy for reading. It took me about 3 weeks to plow through the book. I've always had an interest in fantasy literature, and especially after reading Edgy Mama's review of the book - thought I should go ahead and escape from all the work with a good read.

Overall, I really enjoyed the book. I appreciated the fresh approach to the Dracula story, felt like I gained some insight into Cold War Eastern Europe, and gained some more theological insights into evil in the world (as in, why does someone want to live forever - could have some interesting connections with the debate surrounding Terri Schiavo.)

And for the most part, I enjoyed all the history in the book. I agree with a number of reviewers, in that towards the middle of the book - I wanted a little less history and some more action. Could it be that Hollywood movies have forever ruined me? As to my enjoyment of all the history (or most of it, at least), it's probably just that I have always been a history buff. I even spent a period seriously considering getting a Ph.d. in Church History (still have to wonder if that would have really accomplished anything good in the world... or if I'm accomplishing any good right now).

My one big issue with the book - I felt the character development was a little thin. There were certainly some very interesting characters, but I would like for them to have been a little more three-dimensional. I would like for them to have grappled a little more with the issues of good and evil (does not each one of us have some good and bad aspects to our personalities and desires?). And one more thought while reading the book - "If this woman puts one more "pure" love story in this book, I think I'll puke!" The first (in a timeline) love story would have been far more interesting without the cop-out of "ambrosia" (puh-leese). And I have worked with far too many teenagers and college students over the years to believe that any relationship is pure in its love (it certainly can be in part, but there are always a number of motives in pursuing or acting upon a relationship).

That said, I enjoyed the book overall and would recommend it. My grade - B.

Too bad I don't have book group around anymore to listen to my rants and raves!

Viva la book group!

I have been so fortunate in this move that my two buddies, Katherine and Margaret, are down here in the Triad with me now as well. Wild how all three of us ended up moving down here this summer... We were all parts of the renowned Book Group back in Asheville. (I actually was a founding member about 8 years ago.) We didn't always all read books - our best attended monthly meetings were usually when we met somewhere for dinner! But - these were some of my wonderful friends - and something I really enjoyed in life.

So Margaret and Katherine and I decided to have "book group." We have been joking about calling it the Eastern Division of Book Group, but E.D. for a name is probably nothing with which we would want to associate (unless I get paid like Bob Dole, of course!). We met last night at Margaret's new home - with no book to discuss - but since a couple of us have been reading French Women Don't Get Fat, we decided to bring food to eat like Frenchwomen. (and did we ever! - Margaret even made homemade apple and pear tarts from her newly inherited fruit trees in her yard!)

We did end up discussing this best-selling book. I had never bought a "diet" book before, but after hearing the author give an interview - this book sounded different - and I thought, "What the heck?"

Mireille, the author, is a keen observer of society, and quite a theologian as well. We all know the problems associated with food in our society - mass obesity, rampant eating disorders (even growing among young men these days), supersize eating, sedentary lifestyles - the list goes on and on. Mireille connects part of the problem with food in America as dealing with sin and guilt (something foreign to the French). She is so right. We spend so much time desiring something we think is "bad for us" - then give over and binge on it, and then feel guilty and sinful. And if we enjoy something delicious (like a really good piece of chocolate), we either feel bad afterwards or have to do penance by starving ourselves or killing ourselves at the gym.

Until reading her book (which is really a lifestyle book, not a diet book) - I thought most of the food problems had arisen with the advent of fast food in the 50's and Twiggy type models in the 60's. Yet, I now think it might go back to our Puritanical roots. If we can't see food as a gift in life, as something to be savored and appreciated - if it's just a sinful indulgence - we are going to abuse food in some way or another. Another insightful take on this line of thought is from the now deceased Caroline Knapp in her memoir, Appetites.

I try each day to be thankful for the things in my life. I normally say Grace before a meal (and have taught my children to do this as well) - but I think Mireille is teaching me to go beyond the basics of thanksgiving and truly to appreciate good food for the divine gift it is. I can deal with sin and guilt in plenty of other areas in my life :)

So - we have decided to revise our "book group." We have decided to form a "Knitting group." (no catchy name yet) We'll meet every two weeks - they will teach me how to knit (since I'm the novice among the three of us!), and we will keep eating like Frenchwomen (especially drinking champagne!) and might even discuss some of the books we read in our lives.

why i like angelina jolie

One of the difficulties of moving to a new town is finding a good radio station (not that I was crazy about any particular station in Asheville). I like an eclectic assortment of music which only my friends Beth and Tracey seem to understand. Thus far, one station in Greensboro seems to fit me the most - 98.7 Simon. It's not perfect, but it suits my purposes.

So today I am in my car and they give a celebrity update. They tell how Jennifer Aniston is hanging out with Brad Pitt's mom and sister, and Brad's family likes her SO much better than Angelina. I don't really care about this state of affairs - there are far more important things to report about in the world today - so I just shake my head. The celebrity update is followed by an annoying commercial that has been on way too much of late. It is from the North Carolina Center for Reproductive Medicine. It is a heart-wrenching commercial meant to play on the emotions of women who have struggled with infertility. Having personally heard the stories of women, and lived through it with some, who have struggled with this - I could only become angry at such a tactic employed to make women become customers and give money (and lots of it) to the NCCRM. It made it sound as if there was nothing else on earth compared to having biological children - anything else would be less.

And then I thought of Angelina - an adoptive mom (like myself).

Yes, yes, Angelina's certainly not perfect. Billy Bob - ?!? EEEWWW! And I could probably list other things as well - but I don't know her, so it's not really my place to talk about any lack of judgment she may have had in the past. (would hate for someone to comment on my lack of judgment that I've shown at times)

Angelina is an adoptive mom - two beautiful children who would have spent lives in poverty, perhaps not even surviving to adulthood, if not for being adopted. They come from two economically struggling countries - Cambodia and Ethiopia. She has repeatedly said that she feels no need to have birth children when there are so many children who need homes. On top of this committment in her life, she has also given a ton of money to help these countries (and others) and given countless hours as a UN Goodwill Ambassador.

I'm sure Jennifer Aniston has given money and time to help others as well - but I can't help but like Angelina for giving herself - her life as a mother - to make the world a better place. I wish I could be like her - not just in how I look! - but in being able to adopt a number of children who need a home, and in giving money and time and setting up programs to help others.

I also wish that businesses out to make a buck would stop playing on the heart-strings of women, some of whom will not be able to have birth children - no matter how much reproductive technology or money there is. While honoring the gift of biological childbirth - let's have respect for all women and the children of the world - honoring that adoption is just as miraculous and wonderful and life-giving as biological childbirth.

house blessing

Today was an important day in the Rio-Anderson household. We had a house blessing this afternoon. It was actually my Mom's idea in June. She knows our dear friend and my colleague, Tim, and one day as we were preparing for our big move, she said - "You should really get Tim to bless your house after you move." Seemed like a great idea - and she was right!

So, the house is all unpacked and things are where they should go. My parents and Granny came down from Black Mountain (about a two and a half our drive one way). We invited a couple new neighbors, our wonderful real estate agent and her family, a couple clergy colleague friends and their families, and one new coworker (more clergy!) and his fantastic wife. And then my two wonderful buddies who moved to the area - Katherine and Margaret - and their significant others. Some of Hubby's family also dropped by today.

We told people 3 o'clock, so people started dropping by then. We had some food out and it was great to see people meeting each other and making connections (it really is way too small a world!) and touring around the house. After a little while, Tim led us through the blessing. I asked Margaret and Katherine to be candle-lighters, since they represent our old home but are also now part of the new. Tim gathered us in the front yard (wonder what the other neighbors were thinking ?!), shared some general blessings for the new home and new community and our family. Throughout the blessing, Tim incorporated readings and prayers from Celtic Spirituality and from the Taize community. Margaret and Katherine lit a candle. We then went to the front porch and the front door was blessed. Tim led us into the living room - it was blessed and another candle lit. Our next blessing was the dining room and kitchen combined, with another candle lit. We then blessed the bedrooms from the hallway, and then proceeded into the backyard. Tim had one of my favorite pottery bowls (from Seagrove, NC) filled with water and with a branch cut from an evergreen in our yard. He gave the final house blessing, sprinkled water from the branch and gave an opportunity for our friends (old and new) to bless our house and family. So many wonderful things were said. I did particularly like Jennie's blessing - "May your first stitches here be your last!" - yes, I have already taken sonny boy to urgent care for stitches.

Tim told me today that this was definitely our home - it was exactly where he could picture our family - in this house, the way we have things arranged, and in this neighborhood and town. It still feels strange to me, and it will for a while, but today really helped me see this house as our new home. I do believe we will have many years of happiness here. Probably also many years of loud chaos as well (with an outgoing husband, two kids, two dogs, and two cats - what else could there be?) But this is our home now, and I do feel blessed to be here.

news

Some of you might remember my post in June - to wear a blue jean skirt. It was about a wonderful mentor of mine, Ashley. I have wanted to be Ashley (or be a whole lot like her!) for the past 15 years. I have really missed her over the past month since our move. I found out today that she was in a very serious car accident this past weekend. She is expected to make a full recovery, but only after two surgeries this week and a long recovery and rehab period. I am so thankful she will live, but I really feel for her during these coming months. I also feel for her second child, a beautiful (both on the inside and out) young woman who is starting college next week. I know Ashley will always regret missing that time, and I pray her wonderful daughter will be able to adjust to such a huge transition while her mom is going through such a difficult time.

So on this day when I was thinking about what a role model and hero Ashley has been for me, and feeling so saddened by this news, I was given a recent newspaper article that was about a former student of mine. Jessie is really something else - one of the brightest people I have ever known. So many times I felt like she was teaching me things instead of the other way around! As I read this article, I saw a quote where she credited me for helping in her development as a person and particularly as a person of faith. So good to know that perhaps God can work through me to help someone along the way, just like Ashley has done for me. You can read the article about this incredible young woman in the Chapel Hill News.

comfort reading

Well - we have been in Greensboro for a full month now. I am trying to get settled in. Things are moving along - but it just takes time. I've been trying to find things to help me get past the stress and be comfortable in this new town. "Comfort food" has been a good option in the past - but as I age, I am trying to find healthier ways to get "comfort." In that light, I just finished my umpteenth reading of Pride and Prejudice. And I have been so in love with the BBC miniseries from a few years ago, I can only imagine Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy when I read it.

And so I share one of my favorite pics with you. Colin, in all his loveliness, commenting on what makes an attractive woman (from an interview about the first Bridget Jones's Diary movie). Hope you enjoy!

abelard and heloise

I've been reading about Abelard and Heloise lately - Heloise in particular. Abelard was one of the best known philosophers/teachers of the 12th century in France. He apparently was really, really smart, charismatic and a hottie to boot. (I'm not quite sure how that kind of information comes down through history, but the idea persists...)

Heloise was a very smart young woman under the guardianship of her uncle. Abelard became her tutor. (He was probably in his 30's, while she was a number of years younger. These two previously celibate, but apparently well-matched people, began a very intense love affair. It resulted in a son, a big-big scandal, and in Abelard's castration at the hands of Heloise's uncle. At Abelard's insistence, Heloise entered a convent (where she eventually became abbess), while Abelard as well entered a religious community. After about 10 years, at Heloise's insistence, they began corresponding - some of the most beautiful letters ever written. They also saw each other on occasion. Heloise clearly maintained that Abelard was the love of her life - above the church even.

Such a tragic story. Abelard was never the same after he was so horribly violated. As a theologian, he countered some of the prevailing dogma of the day - and but for different circumstances, the church might have followed his insights in a way that could have avoided some of the horrible things done in God's name over the years. His teachings have always been marred by being someone "who gave into lust and temptation."

I've been working on a paper that in part tells about Heloise. I keep wondering what things we can learn from her story. Should we not give into temptation? Do we want to continue to separate the flesh and spirit instead of seeing God in all things? Or should we see love as a gift from God and find ways in the world to celebrate that love? How do we do that without harming others? Or eventually harming ourselves?

Heloise and Abelard are often thought of as star-crossed lovers. I think of Romeo and Juliet that way - and who on earth wants to end up like that? Yet, after all the tumult, Abelard and Heloise were able to continue their lives - making important contributions to the world and people around them - and able to forge a lasting relationship with each other, albeit not the one they would have probably chosen.

Lasting love seems always to get past the exciting, heart-throbbing beginnings. May not be exciting at all sometimes, may be mundane and even trying later on - but I do think with some really hard work and committment - people can turn out better than Romeo and Juliet.

moving to the big city

So a couple weeks ago we moved to the big city of Greensboro - about 3 times the size of my beloved Asheville. I'm in the big city, driving around unable to find things half the time, feeling overwhelmed by the size, hearing reports of rising crime and drug activity in NC (especially along the major highways), etc, etc.

And what are the lead pictures in the local paper the past two days? Yesterday showed a picture of the major highway running the Greensboro with a horrific traffic jam. The cause? Way too many SUVs and tractor-trailer trucks driving 80 mph? A deadly car chase after drug runners? A high-powered exec talking on the cell phone while driving? No - the traffic jam was due to 2 bulls who escaped from a truck (while it was still moving or not, I am unsure) and were chased by officials for a couple hours before rounded up. Where have all the cowboys gone?

Then today's lead photo - the major road that goes from W. Greensboro to East Gboro - an 8 lane monstrosity. Big traffic jam - and the reason? A gaggle of about 30 geese crossing the road.

Good thing a grew up in the country...

the best james bond movie?

Well, I spent some time working today (mainly unpacking boxes), and then I came home and unpacked more and kept trying to put the house together. We have a renovated 1923 bungalow, and the upstairs bath is really beautiful - but absolutely no storage - no medicine cabinet, no shelf, nothing. So - on my every other day trips to Target, I have bought an "American Cottage" medicine cabinet, standing cabinet with shelves, and a wall shelf with towel rack. I spent 2 hours today putting together both the medicine cabinet and the standing cabinet. 2 hours !?

So - had to come and do nothing in front of the tv for a while. How can I have 100+ channels and still not find anything I want to watch? (and what on earth does that say about me and our society). So - I did find Dr. No - and I figure a good James Bond movie is always worth watching (and my Dad would agree).

My Mom has always said that if you live long enough, you are bound to look good for your age at some point. And then there is Sean Connery, who has never looked bad a day in his 70+ years. As I was watching him evade destruction on his way to the faux Asian "mountain woman" (as I like to call her), I started thinking about my favorite James Bond movie. I have liked a number of them. I think Dr. No is my favorite. I definitely have to rule out Moonraker (except for the scenes with Jaws), and all the Timothy Dalton ones (not sure if it was him or just the writers - but those movies were awful!). And I have truly loved Pierce Brosnan since Remington Steele, but Dr. No was just the best. It had the original guy, techno stuff advanced for that time, the beautiful women, the great villians, and great action.

Any thoughts out there on your favorite JB movie?

gotta love country music

Growing up in the mountains of NC, about the only music we could get on the radio on a regular basis was our local country music station. I still listen quite a bit (as well as whatever else I can get - boy, do I wish I had sattelite radio!). I heard the best song last night (and immediately thought of my younger brother). It is a new one by Keith Anderson (went to seminary with someone by that name, but I really don't think it's the same guy...)

"Double X L"
the refrain goes -
"I'm a mean, lean, love machine who likes to be held. Ooooo-hoooo baby, I'm a double XL!"

The rest of the song recounts all the skinny Barbie dolls who just can't stay away from him and need his lovin'.

Still really like Green Day, U2, etc, but really need that country music sometimes!

to wear a blue jean wrap skirt

Sixteen years ago I entered seminary at Duke Divinity School. I was just 22 years old, newly married, and trying to figure out this calling to ministry. During my three years there, I had one instructor who stood out dramatically. Her name was (and still is!) Ashley - and she taught pastoral care (and was great at it, by the way). I remember the first class - the classes were long Tuesday night classes for the semester. Ashley was a young woman in her mid 30s. She told us about her professional experience, and that she was primarily at home with three children (the youngest being just a few months old). She taught classes at the Divinity School and was not serving a church at the time (though quite active in one).

Ashley was just gorgeous. She wore a simple shirt, with a wrap blue jean skirt (I actually currently own one like it and thought of Ashley when I bought it). I couldn't believe she had just had a baby - I thought someone in her shoes (raising kids, teaching seminary classes, etc.) would look rather worn out and tired (much like I look most the time!). But she always looked great. She was so alive and engaged with everyone around her. I knew very quickly that I wanted to be just like Ashley when I grew up - on so many levels and in so many ways.

About 10 years ago, I was fortunate that Ashley moved to my neck of the woods due to her husband's job. After a really tough first church, I was taking some time off, looking after a rather rambunctious little baby boy, and trying to figure out my next step in ministry. I ended up working parttime at a church, and spending most my time being a mom and homemaker. Throughout these years, Ashley has been the best role model I could possibly have - in vocation, motherhood, friendships, and even continuing in fashion statements! I am moving in less than three weeks and won't be around Ashley as much. And I will be "working fulltime in ministry" yet again (something Ashley has been doing, and doing quite well, for a number of years).

I know I will still see Ashley and we'll communicate - and she will continue to be a hero for me. I also hope that when I am working with my college students, wearing my favorite blue jean wrap skirt - that I might can in some small way have such an impact on a young woman.

But I will really miss her a lot...

17 years!

It was 17 years ago today that I was heading to a picnic in Greensboro, NC with the large young single adult sunday school class of the church I had been attending. I had just finished my 3rd year at Greensboro College, and had one semester left before taking off to do a Master of Divinity (and then thinking I would do a Ph.d. and teach religion somewhere - only the M.Div came to fruition, but at least I do get to work on a college campus).

The summer was just beginning, and I was staying in my college town. My romance with one young man in the class had recently fizzled, so I thought I would just be working and hanging out with whatever friends I had in town. But - the picnic. There was one guy who kept flirting with me. He was older (I thought probably 27), but really cute. He had an athletic build and wore "coaching shorts." He also had the ugliest little dog with him - something called a Boston Terrier - but she was pretty sweet.

We were playing games on a field, and this man was obviously the most athletic. During kickball, he kept kicking home runs and no one else was in the ballpark of getting him out. Have I mentioned that I always hated kickball? Don't know if it was because of getting picked towards the end of my class growing up, or because it just seemed like a really stupid thing to play. Well, at one point, I was actually running from 2nd to 3rd base and this guy (Andy) threw the ball to get me out. I ducked, the ball went wild, and I was able to get home. One of the few runs my team scored! Then the very next play - Andy was doing his usual hotdogging, and I nailed him as he was running to 3rd base. (only one to get him out all day)

We talked, found out he was a kindergarten teacher, had worked at lots of camps - and then when we were leaving, he offered me a ride in his beautiful red Mustang convertible (yes, loyal readers, the very same one that I so despererately want to sell now!).

Within a week we were talking about getting married (turned out the guy was really 33, never married, just waiting for ms. right), and then 5 and a half months later - walking down the aisle.

Sometimes it seems like 170 years, sometimes 17 weeks...

the mustang saga

In the ongoing battle of the sexes, I am trying despererately to get my husband to sell his 1983 Mustang Convertible. (I know, doesn't sound too great, huh? especially when you find out it's an automatic!) We are moving in a few weeks (3 hours away) and why take a third car that he only drives a few times a year? And it's not even that special a car anyway! If it were a '67 Mustang - that would be a totally different story. But it's not. I cannot for the life of me figure out why he is so blooming attached to this thing. He had it when we met 17 years ago, and yes, it was a nice looking car back then. But not now. We have two other vehicles we drive. I don't want my kids in Hubby's baby that doesn't even have a roll-bar, but the man does not want to let it go. I'm thinking this must be his version of mid life crisis. He turned 50 about 6 months ago, and seemed to deal with it fairly well (especially when I surprised him with the Boston Terrier puppy he had begged for). He has the puppy (in addition to our 7 year old Golden and 2 cats), he has great kids, and wonderful (!) wife - why hold on to a piece of junk?

The car is actually up for sale, and I do believe we will have it gone before move date - but I can guarantee that I will be hearing about this thing when he is sitting in the old folks' home and hasn't driven in over a year because our son took away his license.

independent feminist or looking for a sugar daddy?

Some thoughts lately - I have always been a very strong-willed, independent sort of gal. (It seems to be a trait in the females of my family - hope you're reading, Mom.) I seemed to be the only girl making the transition from junior high to high school who didn't fold to the pressure of guys not wanting a "braniac" for a girlfriend. So many of the really smart girls I knew just gave in - they had boyfriends, but they were no longer straight A students. I would look around and wonder where they were. And I gave absolute hell to any boy my senior year who dared suggest I was going to college to get my "m-r-s degree." (I really bristled at the thought of getting married right out of college - but there the man was - what was I supposed to do?)

And my number one pet peeve over the years? Wimps. Particularly male wimps. They make me crazy! If my kids ever want to push my buttons - they just whine and that really does it.

But yet - what is one of my favorite songs from recent years? Who's your daddy? by Toby Keith (no - I by no means agree with his politics - but his fun songs are just really fun and the man is talented and a big, linebacker kind of guy) So many of my strong female friends seem to agree - a strong man who is capable of taking care of us is just so unbelievably attractive. I don't want someone to be patronizing. I enjoy that my husband is proud of my accomplishments and gets a kick out of my tirades over some injustice in the world or any sassy comments. But do I really want to be in charge all the time? Absolutely not! In fact, it gets kind of stressful at times. "Am I the mom of the whole world?!"

So - how is all this balanced out? How do couples mutually relate to each other? And how does a man really be a man - not a wimp and certainly not a bully?

Jonathan's mom

I am back from my week in DC (really had a great time, and even better once I stopped checking my work email!). I spent the whole week talking about Church History as Family Stories (really far more interesting than you might think). While I was there, my 5th grade son was dealing with a family story of his own. He has been good friends all year with a little boy in his class named Jonathan. Jonathan's mom is about 10 years younger than I am, a single parent, and also has a little 3 year old girl. There is no dad in the picture at all, but I know Jonathan's other relatives help out (the mom works as a third shift waitress at the Waffle House). I first met Jonathan's mom last fall, when she has just completed her third shift, but spent the whole day on a field trip with a bunch of 5th graders. (Those things always exhaust me - but I felt I had no room to complain since I had actually had a full night's sleep the night before.)

Last week, Jonathan's mom was in a very serious car accident. Until a couple days ago, they didn't know if she would make it. It's the end of school - so lots of field trips. Since I was in DC, my mom went with the 5th grade to the Wed morning minor league baseball game (the Tourists - says something about my town!). Jonathan came that day, and was just really having a tough time (understandably). My little boy Caleb and their friend Marquis were trying to talk with him. Jonathan said he wasn't sure if he wanted to live - he thought maybe he might just want to die, too. Caleb told him that things would be fine, and that he would grow up at get married and have kids (this does give me some insight into what my son wants in life). Marquis, apparently very active at one of the black churches in town, asked Jonathan if he had prayed about it. Jonathan said he had never prayed and didn't know how. So - Marquis and Caleb helped him (with Marquis taking the lead). Marquis told Jonathan just to talk to God - so Jonathan said, "Lord! What?!" Marquis told him that was not the level of respect the Lord and Savior deserved, and they were going to do this again.

Now - my mom is the one who has told me all this. She's trying to keep from crying because of this little boy's situation, but she said it was one of the funniest things she'd seen in a while.

So, Marquis gets Jonathan to fold his hands and just tells him what to pray. He tells him to pray for his mom to get better, and that if she doesn't get better, to forgive Jonathan for his sins so that he can be in heaven with her one day. Apparently, all this therapy and coaching as only 5th grade boys can give did help Jonathan feel better.

And I, along with so many others, am so thankful that Jonathan's mom is doing better and will even be able to come home in a few days.

family stories

Well, I am still in DC for the week for one of my classes with my doctor of ministry program. My dmin is in Spirituality and Story, and the class this week is "Family Stories" - looking at stories of our past as Christians and incorporating those as part of our family history. (And we all know how family stories can be!) Thus - all the Bonhoeffer reading - a very important story teller in our family stories.

Being a bit of a passionate person, I keep wanting to "tell the stories" of the people who have not always had their stories told. Basically - anyone who was not male and not in a power position! I have pretty good classmates who tolerate my passion for these stories quite well.

It does pain me that the church has reflected culture at large in so many ways over the centuries. The stories of the dispossessed, the outsiders, the poor, the unwanted... these stories just get left to the wayside. Part of my mission as a minister is to tell these stories. And the older I get - the louder I want to tell them! There are far too many people in this world without voice. I hope I can in part try to change this.

Well...I have spoken loudly now via the internet for a few minutes. More on stories later!