JC Penney: Beware of the Doghouse

good friends shared this with us at an anniversary party - too good not to share!

2008 Faves

Some of my favorite things from 2008-
*Tina Fey!
*BBC America original sci-fi programming
*David Tennant as Dr. Who
*Rachel Maddow
*Fringe (best new show on network TV)
*Olympics
*Jack Johnson (best CD of the year)
*Taylor Swift (why would Nashville execs think middle aged women wouldn't like this great, creative kid?)
*Iron Man
*Tropic Thunder (one of the funniest movies ever)
*Twilight - the movie
*Cloris Leachman (cool again and the only decent thing about a dismal DWTS season)

And there have been some irritants this year -
*Jonas Brothers (I know some critics say they are talented, but right now they just dress like poser alt artists, and why on earth did they attempt to remake Aha's perfection of Take on Me?)
*Breaking Dawn - the book (characters should evolve, but not change the essence of who they are - and just a weird story line)
*Katy Perry (overmerchandized, overplayed, and are all the bells and whistles to cover up a lack of talent?)
*Jennifer Aniston (yes, you are hot to be almost 40 - but please cover it up, shut up about the ex (we all know he was in the wrong), find a grown up to date, and be the powerful, talented grown up woman you should be instead of trying to act like you are half your age - too many women half your age look up to you and need to know you can be single and proud of who you are at age 38 without trying to act like you're in your 20s again) - yes, working with college aged women gets me fired up on this subject!

I live with three piggies

Yes, I live with three piggies. These people are eating me out of house and home. One would expect that from teenage Sonny Boy. Yet, tiny (but out of this world metabolism) little gymnast Princess out eats him most days. And how does a 54 year old man keep eating like he is half his age and not gain weight? It blows my mind.

Mom was down the other day and she is always kind enough to cook when she visits. Any cooking or cleaning is always greatly appreciated. She made a large pot of mashed potatoes, and full skillet of green beans, bread, and a huge crockpot of 10 chicken breasts with cream soup. Princess had 3rds that night. Sonny Boy and Hubby had huge heaping plates. Mom thought it would last for a couple days for leftovers - yeah, right. The last of it was in tupperware last night about 9:30 when I went to bed. I was in bed, sound machine going, lights out, thinking about my favorite tennis shot. Hubby comes in and says he just needs to get some socks. He leaves. He is back in a few minutes for something else, and then starts discussing what final present we should get Princess for Christmas. I also remind him he has less than 24 hours to give me a viable suggestion of what he wants or he has no say-so. He keeps talking, but at least the lights were out and he couldn't see that I was ignoring him, had my eyes closed, and was trying to sleep.

Our bedroom door was open, and the hall light was turned on. Then Sonny Boy is in the room, turning on the overhead light, and holding the tupperware with the last part of the leftover chicken. He asks if he can have it. "Go away, both of you!" I say. Then Hubby says, "No, that's my lunch for tomorrow." "But I'm starving and there is nothing to eat in this house!" (even though the pantry, cabinets, freezer and refrigerator are all full) They continue to stand beside my bed, lights on, pulling the tupperware between them and arguing over who can eat it. It's 10pm by now.

"Both of you go away now! I don't care what you eat - just turn out the light, close the door and let me go to sleep!!"

My life...

Ridin' Dirty

Here I am in front of my beloved Nissan - purchased right out of grad school and lovingly driven for 16 years. I've never had a ticket (knock on wood), but apparently my car has been attracting attention lately. Two weeks ago, I was two blocks from home, on my way to work. I stopped (or thought I did) at a stop sign, right in front of a police car. I wondered why he was there - thought he might be visiting someone in the home. He followed me after I turned left and then flashed his lights after a couple blocks. I couldn't imagine why. Then the nice young man proceeded to ask me if I knew what a Missouri stop was - I had no idea. I guess in a stick shift, one does start to roll through stop signs and not realize it. I only received a warning (with my clean record), but it took a couple hours for my heart rate to go down.

Then last night, I was heading back from a tennis match in a different part of town and saw two police cars stopped. After I drove by (definitely under the limit), one car turned and followed me a couple blocks. Then the lights flashed. I guess I am becoming so experienced at this that my heart was used to it and the beats didn't increase at all. Another nice young man - turned out one of my headlights was out. I had no idea, but thanked him and he sent me on my way.

Now Hubby hasn't been that helpful. I called him after the first incident, to let him know that the police were really watching in our neighborhood and to make sure he didn't speed or pause at stop signs. He asked if I'd been pulled, and when I muttered "yes," he started laughing. I hung up the cell immediately. And then last night I called and said I needed him to go immediately to the auto parts store and purchase a right headlamp. He asked why, and I told him, and he started laughing again. I won't print what I said, but I said it, and then hung up on him again.

Sonny Boy thinks my car looks like I'm a wild teenager and that's why they're pulling me. I just hope this is the end. Guess I should drive the hated minivan more often.

Alternate Life?

Sonny Boy has really been on it lately. He feels he is not meant to be an average teenage boy living in the Southern flatlands. He is meant to live in the mountains with snow from October - May. He is in reality a cool snowboarding dude. Life is so unfair - if only his father and I would find jobs in some appropriate place, he could live the true snowboarding life. He could be the next Shaun White. He could have enough money that he could totally forget school, and then he could ship me off to Spain or Scotland so that I would totally stay out of his unruly hair. It's so unfair!

Life's not fair, I tell him. No need to mince words in the attempt to be a smothering mother. If my life had been different, I would be a globe traveling tennis commentator after a rather successful tennis career (consistent top 20 player), and Carlos Moya would be inviting me to come to Majorca with him.

Another fantasy bites the dust...

Any follower of this blog knows that Princess and I are avid watchers of Dancing with the Stars. She and I recently ran across a workout DVD (only $9!) for DWTS. Professional dancers Maks, Kym, and Ashley lead the workouts and they focus on 4 dances. One of them is the Paso Doble.

I normally don't go straight to sleep when my head hits the pillow at night. To keep myself from thinking about work or housecleaning that needs to be done, I try to think of fun, relaxing or enjoyable things. Numerous nights I imagined Maks teaching me to dance the Paso Doble. I would always be in a beautiful black and red dress with a huge flowing skirt. I owned that dance.

Well, instead of this workout video bringing to life one small fantasy, it's destroyed it. I stink at the Paso Doble. Then I thought I can at least move my hips (unlike Shannon Elizabeth), so perhaps the Cha Cha was my dance. Well, my right hip hurt a fair bit the next day.

I am even all the more impressed with Cloris Leachman now.

Twilight - the Movie

I haven't been sure what to make about the huge fuss over the new Twilight movie. I enjoyed the series (well, at least until the last book when the character development got really skewed), and I was looking forward to the movie. Wow - has it created a stir.

Let's get this out of the way first - Catherine Hardwicke took a rather thin (but interesting) story line with little action and gave it gravitas. And instead of some bubblegum kids to star, she found real actors. This director and the two leads made all the difference in the world. This could have been as painful as A Cinderella Story, but it definitely was not. The visuals, pacing, interaction of characters, and intensity was very well done. It was a fun and intense ride. One could connect with the characters (even the vampires - I particularly liked Rosalie!). Okay - maybe the highly sought teen boy demo can't connect - but Sonny Boy can just keep seeing all the Adam Sandler movies he wants.

For the next movie (yes, there will be one after the first two weeks' take), let's hope they get more money for the FX. That could have been improved. And I am all for the story line being ramped up a bit. Overall, definitely a movie worth seeing, even if you have not read the books. My grade - B.

Quantum of Solace

Hubby and I made it to the movies Saturday afternoon. I read movie reviews all the time (and wish someone would pay me to see movies and critique them), but it is oh so rare that I can actually see most of the movies about which I read. Daniel Craig has been a fave since Layer Cake, and Casino Royale was a truly engaging movie, Bond movie or not.

Quantum of Solace picks up just a few minutes after the ending of CR, where Bond's true love has betrayed him and then died. Bond discovers the betrayal is not so cut and dry as he might hope. His pursuit of justice initially lines up with Britain's, but it soon diverges and he is at a loss to find allies. Bond is a complete ball of rage, driven by an obsession to uncover the truth about his love's death and the forces behind it. His fury propells his body to move faster than his mind and heart. Hubby said the movie had too much action and he would have liked more character development (yes, I am actually from Mars and he is from Venus). The action was the character development (unlike the vast majority of movies where action is there simply because it sells, regardless of any plot development at all).

The storyline did feel like a conclusion to CR, but I'm fine with that. I know more will come and we will see this interesting character and his world continue to evolve. It was a limited scope as a movie, but as part of a franchise, it was still a good, solid movie. The surrounding characters were interesting, especially as counterparts for Bond and his vengeance. And has anyone ever imagined M as standing for Mother? Judi Dench is always brilliant.

Couple things I wish they would change. The theme song was absolutely awful - and I am a huge Jack White fan and like Alicia Keys as well. I would never have imagined that collaboration would turn out so poorly. And can we please get rid of the opening credits with Bond superimposed over female bodies? I felt like Roger Moore was about to make a cameo. This Bond incarnation is not just about the women, and the opening credits need to move beyond that.

Overall, good movie. My grade B.

Old Fat Naked Women for Peace

Sonny Boy celebrates...

Scott Avett sings

guess I am a Greensboro woman for the time being...

The Avett Brothers - Shame

Hubby and I had a wonderful Halloween - spent the evening with 7000 screaming Avett Brothers fans - great concert. It's no wonder those guys are so fit - not sure when I have ever seen so much energy from a band. And Edgy Mama - I was thinking about you!

Grimsley - Page game

Even though I still feel like a newbie to Gboro, I have heard of the intense Grimsley-Page high school rivalry. Hubby has taken Sonny Boy to the annual football games the past couple year. All four of us went Friday night in non-stop rain, wind, and greatly reduced temperatures from the day before. I was so grateful to the Booster moms who make sure they sell hot chocolate at those things.

The game was a bigger deal than I had envisioned. I know it's one of the biggest (if not the biggest) rivalries in the state. Even with the weather conditions, almost 5000 people were there. About a week before all parents had received a 3 page letter from the Principal detailing the events of Grimsley-Page week, and especially what was not tolerated. We also got the big automated call about the week. Friday morning (in the rain), Grimsley-Page alumni participated in the annual golf tournament. 280 participated and almost $30000 was raised, to be split between the two athletic departments. Wow. Scholarships were given as well.

I was an ice cube by the time I got home, even though I had dressed appropriately. Princess and I left a little early to go home and thaw out. Sonny Boy (who had insisted on only wearing his 2008 Grimsley-Page tshirt and a pair of shorts) came home a little after that. "I'm freezing!" He said. "Everyone thought I was an idiot!" I responded, "Well, do you think they were right?" (Before the game, I had tried my best to get him to at least wear a jacket - but you can't force a 14 year old who is bigger than you are to dress more appropriately). Sonny Boy just rolled his eyes and went straight to bed.

No one should be surprised that he was sneezing, coughing and congested over the weekend. And when he had to leave science class today to call a parent to pick him up because he now has a fever, his teacher said, "I'm not surprised. Saw you at that game Friday night."

Sure hope next year's game has better weather! And sure hope Sonny Boy might figure out that dressing appropriately for the weather might actually not be uncool.

Breaking Dawn - the review

In the summer, I posted about Stephanie Meyer's Twilight series - a juvenile fiction about vampires that I (along with millions of teen girls and their moms) became a touched obsessed with. I anxiously awaited the final book of the series, Breaking Dawn. Alas, it did not live up to my expectations. I really liked the first three books, but as I hear Edgy Mama say - "She really needs an editor!" It's a shame when someone becomes a big success that editors aren't willing to pare down or help reshape a book that really needs it.

And it wasn't just the length - the storyline just got weird. Bella has made her choice between gorgeous vampire Edward and rebellious human/wolf Jacob. I was fine with that. Gotta move forward in life, right? Yet, once that decision was made, things just got weird. Edward lost his dangerous mojo and was simply a boring, smitten, emasculated vampire. Bella, only age 18, suddenly became a strong, independent, and quite mature grown woman. And who didn't want Jacob to get a real life? He deserved it. The characters I grew to know so well just weren't the same people. The storylines didn't make sense because they weren't really the same people. Consistency is a must! Innovation yes - but once a character is fleshed out, how can they suddenly be a very different person?

Nessie (if you read it, you'll find out who she is) was just weird. I must say that Meyer still paints vivid images (can't wait to see them translated onto the big screen with The Twilight Movie next month). And I enjoyed the exchange between Jacob and Rosemary. But the rest was disappointing. Sad way to end something so promising.

My grade - C-

Tropic Thunder

I wish I could forget one of my most frightening Halloween memories. I was in college, and there were just no good parties to be found that night. One of my friends, Stephen, suggested to a group of us that we go see this new movie he'd heard was really good. "What's it called?" "Platoon." "What's it about?" "It's about the Vietnam War."

Okay, I thought. Always up for a good movie, and I did like history. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. For anyone who recalls this movie, it was the beginning of those violent, rated R, movies about guys bonding together under the worst conditions imaginable. I had nightmares for weeks.

I've been reading about Tropic Thunder for almost a year. A comedy about making a movie along the lines of Platoon? Ben Stiller at the helm? Robert Downey, Jr. playing an Aussie actor who goes through a procedure to become "black" for the role in this pretend movie? It was either going to be great, or completely awful. I was hoping for the former.

And that was what I got. I actually saw it twice. I laughed so hard I literally cried. The movie pokes fun at the most ridiculous aspects of the Hollywood movie industry, and yet still finds some humanity in the midst of insanity. Robert Downey, Jr. was beyond hysterical. He was the ultimate "Russell Crowe" method actor. The man can take a big risk and make it work. And as much as I loved the movie, the "previews" and "commercials" from the big name actors in the fake movie at the actual beginning of the movie were really the icing on the cake.

Not a movie for everyone - still lots of violence and certainly some crude humor. But I can say I found some redemption from that nightmarish Halloween over 20 years ago.

My grade - B+

The Family Name

School started on Tuesday. Princess began Middle School and Sonny Boy began High School. It turns out that one of Princess' teachers, Ms. M, was Sonny Boy's student teacher last year. Ms. M knew Sonny Boy for the wild boy he is and didn't let him by with much. He just knew Princess would not like her.

The Middle School has the mascot of the Tigers. When a student behaves well, they get "pawed," which is a gift certificate for a free drink at a local gas station. This is the conversation that centered around that fact after the second day of school.

Princess: Mom, I got pawed today! It was my second one.
Mom: Honey, that's great! I am so proud of you.
Sonny: (tearing into the living room from another part of the house) What? You got pawed twice and it's only the second day of school? Who pawed you?!
Princess: (grinning a knowing grin) Ms. M.
Sonny: What!!! She NEVER pawed me last year. In fact, I only got pawed once the entire year. You better cut this out. You're ruining the family name!!

Ahhh, siblings....

Jack Johnson - If I Had Eyes

in honor of the concert tomorrow night...

Breakdown - Jack Johnson

another one...

Providing Public Entertainment

One of my memories from childhood is Mom reminding members of the family not to provide free public entertainment. This was normally directed at Dad. He just couldn't help himself at times! It's a good thing he never cared what other people thought. And my own family these days certainly provides our share of entertainment for the masses.

I contributed to this early Wednesday morning. I was driving to meet KB, my carpooling buddy. I am so sick of the minutiae of the political campaigns that I have been listening to morning radio with crazy DJs. I turned on the local 98.7 Simon, just in time to hear that they were accepting callers to play Password for free Jack Johnson tickets. Jack Johnson! One of my absolute faves! I can't even remember the last time I saw a concert - they are pretty pricey these days.

So I picked up the cell, thankful that there was not much traffic (Dad - I am very sorry I used my phone while driving). I can't believe I got through, and then I actually got to play! I was just a teeny bit excited, and had to come from behind to tie with my competitor Emmett. But thanks to the generosity of 98.7 Simon DJs, they gave us both tickets so I am actually seeing Jack Johnson Tuesday night!!!!!! Wooooooohooooooooo!! (And just for the record - if someone is playing password and your teammate says "puppy," don't respond "animal shelter!")

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

A few years ago one of the great movies of modern times came out - The Mummy. It had lots of action, humor, interesting characters and was a really fun ride. Not one scene or line was a throw away. They were all perfect. It was then I began my great love for Rachel Weisz. Brendan Frazier and John Hannah were great (as they normally are), but Rachel captured my heart as the kinda goofy, but adventure craving librarian who stole the hero's heart.

The Mummy II was pretty enjoyable. Not as good as the first, but I still enjoy watching it. All the main players were back (plus a 10 year old son). I was happy with a completion of the story.

So I was not thrilled last summer when I first read that a 3rd Mummy was being filmed. And then I found out that my beloved Rachel Weisz would not be in it. I vowed not to see it. And then what do I discover last spring? Maria Bello was taking the role over. Well, she is by no means anyone to sneeze at. Then I read that Jet Li and Michelle Yeoh were also starring. That settled it - Yeoh is one of my all time favorites. I love kick-butt women, and it's hard to beat Asian martial arts.

So I dragged my family to the theater this past Friday afternoon. The first 10 minutes were compelling as it told the story of the evil Chinese emperor and the beautiful witch who defied him. "This might be just fine," I thought. Then the next 20 minutes were bogged down with slow backstory about the O'Connell family (with the son now in his early 20s) in 1946. The movie sparkled with the action scenes, and Yeoh of course always lit the screen. She was definitely the best part of the movie. But the movie dragged. It was heavy, bogged down by relationships and conversation that never felt real or compelling. Bello's Evie was no longer the goofy adventurer - she was an overly serious, overly protective mom who was supposed to be superspy now. The O'Connell family didn't feel like a family. The relationships just didn't work and family dialogue was tedious. The strength of the original Mummy movies was snappy, quick, and fun action and dialogue. I think I only cracked a smile or laugh a couple times in the entire movie. If I want to be depressed this summer, I'll go see The Dark Knight. To be fair, I believe the actors did the best with what they were given. Perhaps a different screenwriter would have brought the lightness and fun back to this movie.

My grade would be lower except for one scene. When Brendan Frazier's Rick O'Connell is recovering from a stab wound, his shirt is off for a few minutes - a sight we did not witness in the first two movies. Not bad at all. Had to move the grade up slightly. My grade - C