Things I learned from my trip to Scotland...

1. Being allowed to take 1 tube of lipstick on board an airplane gets me real excited.
2. Sheep really are stupid.
3. Sheep NEVER stop eating.
4. Climbing straight over steep, rocky paths when one is dressed like the younger son in A Christmas Story is not easy.
5. It really doesn't hurt to fall face forward in heather.
6. It's hard to distinguish between sheep dookie and mud. (and it's nice to travel with a friend who knows the proper way to spell "dookie.")
7. Towel warmers are a gift from the gods. (unless you bend over at the wrong time)
8. Whiskey really is the best way to take off a cold chill.
9. 13th century nuns rocked!
10. Just when you think you miss your 12 year old son, a mischevious spirit (who must be a 12 year old boy) will do all sorts of funny things to your room (hide books, move rocks, change the alarm clock, wet the inside pages of a book, and even keep lifting the toilet seat over and over).
11. Scottish footballers are gifted at running to catch an 8:30am flight while holding a pint - all without spilling one drop.
12. A ferry ride in the pitch dark over very rough waters is more fun than any roller coaster.
13. It's a pleasure to have a full-body collision in the rain with a travelling, long-haired, scruffy bearded Scotsman who is carrying a guitar.
14. We thought we were in heaven in the Inner Hebrides, especially with the gourmet food - but then realized that God wouldn't let us gain weight in heaven.
15. There exists a man who can say "vagina dentata" (Latin for vagina with teeth) without blushing or stuttering.
16. Vagina dentata can be sung to the lively Disney tune "Hakumamatata" from The Lion King. (Check upcoming posts for more on the She-la-na-gig pagan fertility goddess, aka vagina dentata, and what it has to do with ancient Nunnery ruins.)

Leaving Town

In the morning, I am headed to the GSO airport for a Pilgrimage to Iona, Scotland. It is an ancient and fascinating place. I'll be gone 12 days - so no posts during that time. Check out the website while I'm gone, and I'll have lots of things to post when I return.

More pics from the US Open

Weird Al does it yet again...

For months, Sonny Boy has been singing "Ridin' Dirty" by Chamilionaire. It's actually about racial profiling and has a decent message, even though it makes me a little bonkers. Leave it to Weird Al Yankovic to do one of his best parodies yet.

Check it out - http://music.yahoo.com/video/default.asp?vid=35881672

US Open

Walker and I hanging out in Arthur Ashe Stadium, praying the rain will go away...

The History of Love by Nicole Krauss

I decided a couple weeks ago to put down the Janet Evanovich books (good though they are) and pick up The History of Love at the recommendation of the Asheville book group (where I still consider myself a member, even though I live 3 hours away).

The story centers around two individuals in NYC - an elderly man, Leo Gursky, who is a Holocaust survivor and is limping through what may be the last days of his life; and Alma, a young teenager who is searching for her identity in the aftermath of losing her beloved father at a young age. The search for life and meaning by both Leo and Alma occurs through a little known book, The History of Love, and the mystery that surrounds it. Krauss writes beautifully, and the glimpses we see of the History of Love manuscript make me want to read that as well (if only it existed).

The first two pages left me depressed, and then I realized Krauss had the gift of combining the hysterical with the poignant and the overwhelming. Leo's desire not to die unnoticed leads him to create scenes whenever he goes out - I could easily imagine him purchasing and then intentionally spilling coffee (in dramatic fashion) so that he would be remembered. Alma's desire to distance herself from her mother and a religion obsessed younger brother also left me laughing many times. Krauss took what could have been simply another search for meaning, and filled it with true life moments that made it real.

The book is wonderfully written. It is heart-wrenching, heart-warming, funny, sad, endearing, and ultimately fulfilling. My grade - definitely A.

Women & Daydreams

Heard this on the radio recently - This is the list (in order) of what women most often daydream -
1. winning the lottery
2. relaxing on the beach
3. having a clean house
4. thoughts of a hot doc on tv

I've never daydreamed about #1, but as to the others...

Long Hair is Cool

Have people noticed that young guys are wearing their hair longer these days? Well, 12 year old Sonny Boy sure has. The hair on his neck just about reaches his collar these days. And his bangs are almost down to the tip of his nose. I always enjoy seeing him watch tv - he tips his head way back so he can look underneath his bangs.

I don't care what his hair looks like. I want to reserve my battles for other more important subjects (like actually doing his homework).

On Monday, a couple of his teachers (there are 4 total) asked him to do something with his hair. They wanted to be able to see his eyes during class. (He does kinda look like one of those dogs in the Alps who has bangs that cover the eyes and carries beer around their necks.) The teachers asked him to wear a cap, push his hair to the side or wear some kind of clip. I offered him one of Princess' hair barrettes, but he didn't want that for some reason!

Yesterday, I drove him to school and we did the usual good morning prayer. I say a sentence, and then he repeats after me. At one point I prayed, "Please God, help Sonny Boy do something with his hair so that he won't irritate his teachers." He didn't repeat exactly as I had spoken. Instead, it was "God, help me keep my hair EXACTLY like I want it."

The teachers gave him a bandana yesterday. He wore it as a joke for one period and then removed it. At lunch, one of the teachers asked where his bandana was. "I took it off and I'm not wearing it." She apparently walked on at that point.

I asked Sonny Boy what his plan was. I suggested just flicking it to the side (have I also said he reminds me of Jim Carrey in Dumb and Dumber?) He said it has to go straight down or else he will look like a dork, geek, nerd, etc. He said when it gets long enough to tuck behind his ears, he will (and we have a ways to go before that).

Not my battle - but entertaining from the sidelines nonetheless...