Princess as Personal Trainer

Like most of us after the holidays, Hubby has a few extra pounds right now. It's not really that much, and thanks to his quite fortunate genetic make-up, any extra pounds always come off fairly easily. A few years ago he enjoyed holiday food so much that on Jan 3 he popped the button on three straight pair of pants as he was getting dressed for work. I laughed my head off and took to calling him Fat Boy for about a week. I would hear him rumbling around in the kitchen in the evenings, and say, "Hey, Fat Boy! Whatcha looking for in there?" Of course, the pants all fit fine after a few days of watching his diet and exercising a bit more, so the nickname was history, and I reverted back to the ol' standby, "Old Man."

I chose not to make any reference to the belly in recent days, but Princess has really noticed. She is not pleased at all with the way he looks. She has fussed at him about his diet, and then drawn up a rather extensive chart for an exercise regime. She has to initial when he has completed some activity. She even made him take a fast walk in a hail storm a couple days ago. Gillian - move over. This personal trainer looks like the toughest of them all!

(and yes, for all you men reading out there - I am well aware that Hubby could never, ever make a reference to my weight and hope to live. But as my mom always told me, life's not fair.)

I live with three piggies

Yes, I live with three piggies. These people are eating me out of house and home. One would expect that from teenage Sonny Boy. Yet, tiny (but out of this world metabolism) little gymnast Princess out eats him most days. And how does a 54 year old man keep eating like he is half his age and not gain weight? It blows my mind.

Mom was down the other day and she is always kind enough to cook when she visits. Any cooking or cleaning is always greatly appreciated. She made a large pot of mashed potatoes, and full skillet of green beans, bread, and a huge crockpot of 10 chicken breasts with cream soup. Princess had 3rds that night. Sonny Boy and Hubby had huge heaping plates. Mom thought it would last for a couple days for leftovers - yeah, right. The last of it was in tupperware last night about 9:30 when I went to bed. I was in bed, sound machine going, lights out, thinking about my favorite tennis shot. Hubby comes in and says he just needs to get some socks. He leaves. He is back in a few minutes for something else, and then starts discussing what final present we should get Princess for Christmas. I also remind him he has less than 24 hours to give me a viable suggestion of what he wants or he has no say-so. He keeps talking, but at least the lights were out and he couldn't see that I was ignoring him, had my eyes closed, and was trying to sleep.

Our bedroom door was open, and the hall light was turned on. Then Sonny Boy is in the room, turning on the overhead light, and holding the tupperware with the last part of the leftover chicken. He asks if he can have it. "Go away, both of you!" I say. Then Hubby says, "No, that's my lunch for tomorrow." "But I'm starving and there is nothing to eat in this house!" (even though the pantry, cabinets, freezer and refrigerator are all full) They continue to stand beside my bed, lights on, pulling the tupperware between them and arguing over who can eat it. It's 10pm by now.

"Both of you go away now! I don't care what you eat - just turn out the light, close the door and let me go to sleep!!"

My life...

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

I have for many years been a proponent of absence making the heart grow fonder. Familiarity breeds contempt. Too much of a good thing... You get the idea.

During the summer months, Hubby and I both are at home (since we both work an academic year). However, this summer I have been diligently working on a chapter for a book that is due in a few days. I was honored to be asked to write this chapter and have tried to put my best effort into it. Not an easy task with all the family around.

I had a deadline this afternoon of getting the chapter to my two readers before I send it off to the editor in a few days. And you know what babies men can be when it comes to illness or getting older? I wasted some valuable days last week trying to calm Hubby's fears over his first colonoscopy. For goodness' sake, Katie Couric did it on national tv! So this afternoon I am working hard on the laptop, trying to get the chapter completed. And how many times can Hubby (and kids) interrupt me? The final time Hubby interrupted me was this -

Hubby: "Look at my bicep. I have a bug bite on it." (as he models bicep)

Rio: "That's nice." (while continuing to type)

Hubby: "I think it's deformed my muscle. Look."

Rio: "Looks fine to me. Just a bite on the bicep." (as I glance momentarily at it)

Hubby: "But look at the other bicep! It looks kinda weird too! Do you think something is wrong with my muscle?"

Rio: (through gritted teeth) "Your muscles are fine. They are just old. Please go away and leave me alone."

Princess to the Rescue

I had what I believe was a combination cold/allergy episode a few days ago. My voice was fairly scratchy on Wednesday, and then by Thursday morning I was teaching my class in a very loud whisper. After that, the voice was almost completely gone. It's been over three years since I last lost my voice. Never fun. I had a co-worker call Hubby to tell him not to call - I couldn't talk at all. (I thought I would act preemptively, since Hubby loves to call and just say hi.) A couple hours after that I was sitting in my office (all by my lonesome) when the phone rang. Princess was home from school. She didn't know my voice was gone, but I was hoping I could croak out a loud whisper, "Voice! Lost!"



I answered and attempted the two words. She kept asking "what?" and I kept trying to no avail. I then tried, "Call Daddy." She heard daddy (being the Daddy's girl she is, I should not be surprised) and hung up the phone.



Within two minutes my cell rang again, and it was Hubby. I answered the phone and said nothing - he knew I couldn't talk. He said, "Princess called and said that you were really upset. That you'd lost something. What's wrong."



"LOST! VOICE!"



Hubby had a good laugh and hung up.

Portland - the Place for Books

I spent most my time in Portland attending a conference. However, there was some time to ride the MAX lightrail and do a little shopping. One of the best places we went was Powell's Bookstore. Powell's is the largest bookstore in the world. It is independently owned and has new and used titles. If you spend more than $50, they will ship your purchase wherever you want. And of course, you can go on their website to make a purchase as well. I only saw a small part of the store due to time constraints. It was probably a good thing. Otherwise, I would have been severely lost and missed my dinner at Jake's (which is also definitely a place to go when in Portland).

My favorite things at Powell's? The notes pads that had reasons listed under different headings of "How to make me happy today," "Why we should have sex," "Things that get on my nerves," and "My mood today is..." I thought about purchasing any number of those note pads, but then I figured, if my husband can't read my mind after almost 20 years, why should I help him out with a note? He needs to keep up his mindreading skills. Can't make it too easy for him.

Morning Talk

Listening to the local pop radio station this morning (can't do NPR every morning), I heard this interesting tidbit. Apparently, a woman called the police because she couldn't get her husband to stop talking. Hmmmm......

How much do you like chocolate?

I don't think Hubby knew what I was doing with the camera, but I wanted evidence. Crushed m & ms were all over the side of his face. Some of the ones on the ear had fallen off, but the man's face was essentially covered in chocolate. How, you might ask, could this happen?

Hubby had just gotten off the cell phone when I smelled chocolate in the vicinity. I quickly followed my nose to Hubby's face. I went from there to the cell phone (just a few weeks old), which was also covered in smushed m & ms.

"Hubby, how on earth did you get mashed m & ms all over your cell phone, and did you know that they are all over the side of your face now?" I felt like Hermoine when she first meets Ron and points out the dirt on the side of his nose.

"Huh?" he responded as he walked to the bathroom to clean his face. "How did that happen?"

"You have crushed m & ms all over your new cell phone." He looked puzzled for a few minutes, and then pulled an open bag of m & ms out of his pocket. Apparently he put them in his pocket during the movie we had just seen and decided his cell phone belonged in the same pocket.

You just never know what will happen at my house.

Browsing through some cards...

I was at B & N the other night (my chosen place of escape) and started flipping through greeting cards. I wanted to find one for Sonny Boy, who was off at camp. I found this one, and then fervently prayed Hubby would never see it - because hope (on my part) does spring eternal.

"If you haven't grown up by the time you're middle-aged, it means you don't have to."